Wednesday, June 2, 2010

PHOTODOCUMENT DAY ONE

.




Hi Ls and Gs!
(Lezzes and Gays)

As you all know, I began my three-day-long journey from Boulder to Washington, D.C. today. I left WAY too early today, at 11:34am (after getting gas and Starbucks-sustenance).


I'm gonna tell you a little bit about my day and its highlights (there are some good ones). However, I am not going to post ALL the pictures I took today here, I will post them here. Also, the pictures aren't great... because I took them with my NON-DROID phone camera. But once I get my Droid, THE PICTURES WILL EXPLODE OUT OF THE PAGE LIKE A BUTTERFLY EMERGING FROM ITS PUPA BUT THE BUTTERFLY EXPLODES OUT WITH ORGASMIC FURY.


There were some real nice bugs.


Kansass totally snuck up on me. AND THEN WOULDN'T LEAVE. (Above is the "Welcome to the KansASS of America" sign).


I saw this window decal at a gas station. I spent a good five minutes deciding whether or not to get it. I didn't... :( I regret the decision.


A sign for a great Mexican restaurant. I didn't realize the authenticity of Irish-Mexican food.


MORE SWEET YELLOW BUG ACTION.

I told many of you that the highlight of my cross-country trip would be visiting the various WalMarts I encounter to try and capture some of my own "creatures." Well, I kept my eyes out for WalMarts anytime there was more than just a McDonald's and a gas station at the exit. However, the first WalMart I missed because it was past the exit (this was in Colby, KS). Then I didn't see any for a while. THEN I DID (in Fort Hays, KS). I stopped in. On the way, I saw the Carlos O'Kelly's sign. I took a picture of it. See above.




I decided to do a lap in the WalMart, with my camera at the ready.

I have to say, I HIGHLY COMMEND the people who contribute to People of WalMart because IT IS HARD to be discrete and capture the creatures. Anyway, here is my try:

I was trying to get the girl in the red shorts because she was HIGHLY DIBS-WORTHY.


SEE HOW HARD THIS IS.

I will just need more practice.



Oh, in case you were wondering:


I bet the DROID has some sort of zoom feature unlike my current piece of lamesuck.

(FYI: NEW FAVORITE WORD = LAMESUCK).



WINDFARM!! NEATO!!!!


And about 8:20pm (Boulder-time) or about 9:20pm (KansASS time), I arrived at my hotel (if you can call it that...). So my trip was about nine hours... seemed longer. And 584 miles. WOO.


BUT THERE IS MORE!!! And it is GREAT.

I arrived at the hotel, and I was waiting at the desk in the lobby for an employee to show up. As I was waiting, this big guy and his friend walk out of the "lounge" (= bar). He is a very big guy, in a red shirt and a baseball cap (I didn't want to look much closer). But I did notice that he was missing most of his front teeth, and the rest were nice and black. Anyway, him and his friend were walking outside to smoke and he spittled some words out at me through his tooth-hole:


Toothless McGumpy: *slurrrrrrrrrrrring some words*
Me: I'm sorry?
Toothless: [Sounded a bit like:] Can I come to your room later?
Me: [Stunned] Um, no.
Toothless: Don't you remember me?
Me: No.
[He puts his arm around me.]
Me: Where do I know you from?
Toothless: Applebee's.
Me: Um, I haven't been to Applebee's.
Toothless: [He slurs something about meeting me and my friend there.]
Me: Which Applebee's?
Toothless: [He points.] Iowa. (I'm assuming a street.)
Me: Um, I just got here... from Colorado.
Toothless: [He stares blankly at me for AN ETERNITY and then slurs something like "oh" and walks away.

Let's just say I slipped my extra keycard under his door. ;)

I invited his friend too. ;)

2 comments:

  1. Your pics are still good-ish. BTW, just saw a DROID commercial. You must be very excited!
    I'm hoping to get more creature features from you! Keep on car-ing!
    D

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have SO been to the Walmart in Colby, Kansas. I don't know whether you missed anything or not, though, because I hadn't heard of peopleofwalmart.com yet and didn't yet understand the importance of paying attention.

    ReplyDelete