CONSPIRACY THEORY

There just so happens to be a conspiracy conspiraizing in YOUR BACK YARD (read: my parking lot).


THE FACTS:

Mike and I have lived at our current, colorful locale for the past two years (come August). In these two short years, I have gotten two flat tires in the parking lot. BOTH flat tires were due to nails/screws.

THE EVIDENCE:


"That's not a conspiracy, that's just bad luck" you might say. Or, "Maybe you shouldn't litter your parking lot with nails/screws." WELL, SCREW YOU!!! (See what I did there?).

But there's more!

THE MORE:

Mike has ALSO gotten two flat tires in the two short years we have lived here. (I have yet to confirm whether they were naily/screwy).

"Whoa! Mike got two flat tires too! THAT'S A CONSPIRACY!" you say. [Sidenote: why is it always that when a girl complains/mentions something it doesn't exist, but when a BOY says so, it's taken as cold, hard fact? Maybe I should blog about this...]

And just look at the lame suckocity that resulted from said conspiracy!

THE LAMESUCK:


"Dang! That's pure lamesuck!"
"Double dang!"

Anyway, as with all good conspiracies, many questions arise.


THE QUESTIONS:

Where did all these nails/screws come from?
Why have they congregated in my parking lot?
Why do my tires feel the need to run over said nails/screws?
Why do the nails/screws feel the need to get all up in my tires' business?

Are aliens behind the nail/screw deposits?Is the government trying to cover it up by placing them in my tires?


Is the government behind the nail/screw deposits?
Are aliens trying to cover it up by placing them in my tires?



Well, I am working at NASA this summer, so I plan on finding out. Or I could just ask Scully the next time she's in my bed filming an episode for the X-Files.

THE PANTSUIT: