Meet Gus Gus

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Neuroscientists have been deceiving the world for years. Many people think that inside our craniums are these things called 'brains.' And these 'brains' like to be eaten by zombies. And they are all mushy and slimy and look like some sort of ugly (yet delicious!) jello mold. But this is just some crazy conspiracy put on by the government and the neuroscientists of the world.
In reality, our craniums are hollow, and house a hamster unique to each of us (people with multiple personalities end up with more than one hamster in their skull). Anyway, these hamsters have their own unique traits and characteristics that make each of us "special." (Yes, I do mean that kind of special).


I want to introduce you to my furry brain friend, Gus Gus. He is in most ways similar to Gus Gus from Cinderella, but he is a hamster, not a mouse.


But Gus Gus is even cuter, because he's a hamster, not a mouse.

So let me tell you a little more about Gus Gus. He sleeps. All the time. It's not that he's tired... except that he is. But you also bore him to death. He tries. He will wake up early, around 3pm, and saunter (he saunters) over to his food bowl. He'll eat a little bit, take some sips of water from this hamster sippy-thing (SO CUTE!!!) and then hop up on his wheel. Now, when I say "hop up on his wheel," this is actually an hour-long ordeal. First, he saunters from his food bowl over to the wheel, then looks at the wheel, and looks back longingly at the food bowl, then at his bednest (nestbed?), then back to the wheel, etc. This continues for about 25 minutes. Sometimes, if he's having a really bad day, he ends up going back to his bednest. However, on a good day, when he is feeling triumphant, Gus Gus will spend the next 35 minutes "hopping" up onto the wheel. I wish I had a better way of describing this task to you, but I don't. But it is similar to this:


But really, Gus Gus should get an A+++++ for his valiant effort. I mean, he tries! That's more than I can say for most people's hamsters. Additionally, he's SO FUCKING CUTE. I can never stay mad at him!!!

AWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! LOOK AT HIS CUTE LITTLE FOOT!


So most of the time, when you talk to me, Gus Gus is asleep: on his wheel, in his bednest, passed out in his food bowl... wherever. And when I stare at you blankly for minutes on end, I am also asleep.

Many of you have seen me get passionate/extremely excited about things I like... that funny part in Shrek Forever After, um, those other things... ANYWAY, Gus Gus often shares my passion/excitement. I would like to end this post with a picture illustrating my and Gus Gus's special bond over the passions of our lives.

The following picture beautifully and perfectly illustrates the zealous fervor that solidifies the bond that Gus Gus and I share (and we both look just as cute when we do it too).