Fellow Citizens!
"What do you mean I don't have my own country yet? That can't be right... I'll get someone on that. Minion! Come here!" *Becca stops stopwatch, looks at minion, looks at stopwatch, looks at minion, raises eyebrow, minion gives self wedgie* "Very good. Now, minion, why don't I own my own country yet? And I don't want one of those poor, weird-sounding countries no one's heard of, with all those consonants, I want a country like... Oh, let's say, Ecuador. Can you do that for me, minion?" *minion trembles, Becca looks away, and with a flutter of her hand* "Be gone, away with you." *Becca sighs and looks down at her pedicurist* "Oh, the things I have to deal with." *in an airy breath, a slight laugh at the end, still talking to the pedicurist* "Yep, that's the toe I was talking about. Grotesque, right? Only word for it. Enjoy!"
As I was saying, I just wanted to post a post saying I have eight hundred thousand posts to post, but only so many minions to dictate to while other minions feed me grapes and yet other minions fan me with huge palm fronds that still other minions retrieved from the Jurassic Period by use of a time machine I commissioned (does that imply I paid them?) from further minions. Life is hard for me. And so, it is to you, dear reader, that I say thus:
Plees bare with mi az Googul haz provighdid nu blogg dzine templits 4 migh blahhhging plehzure. Allsew, bare with mi az eye fined thyme 2 right migh 8 hunnndread thouzend [awsum] nu poesssts.
Thanc ewe.
[Becca would like it noted that Minion #432753-5736B was sufficiently reprimanded for his dictation.]
Hey Becca, I just realized you should have used "bear" instead of "bare." I try not to correct people's grammar all the time but in this case I think it's important because "bare with me" makes me think of being naked with you.
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