PHOTODOC DAY THREE TRAVELS

HI EVERYBODY!!!!! (Hi Dr. Nick!)

So I have finally made it to my destination, the University of Maryland at College Park.

Last night, I got to Washington, D.C. around 9pm and then finally made my way to my friend's apartment. Vivian has seriously been a lifesaver, and I would still be stuck in KansASS still (NOOOOOOOOoooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooOOOOO!!!!). Driving in DC wasn't bad... there are double yellow lines and I was like, "Whaaaaaaaaa?" and then the roads turn at like different places and there's no street signs and tons of lights and the road continues but there's three new directions and you're like, "WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?"

Like this:

SERIOUSLY. Like look at Connecticut Ave NW and R Street... there's like SEVENTEEN ROADS THERE. WHICH ONE DO I TAKE???????

Luckily, Vivian likes to "recalculate" and it's GREAT.

Anyway, let's start at the beginning:

So I set my alarm for 10:30am on June 4th, hoping to leave by 11:30am-ish. I got up at noon. Check out was at noon. So I threw things around and then checked out and then sat in my car.

Isn't it weird how you don't remember things from an hour ago, let alone a day ago? Yeah.

So then I drove. On this leg of the trip, I drove through Kentucky, West Virginia, Maryland, and D.C.

Throughout my venture, I kept seeing signs that would just say, "ADULT." Technically (age-wise, not mentally), I am an adult, and so I wondered if I should go there. Is it where adults congregate? Is it like a weigh station for trucks, but for people? Are you required to stop there in your travels? I had so many questions and no answers... and J.J. Abrams was nowhere to be found. Then I wondered, "Why doesn't it say "Adults" instead of "Adult"? Can there only be one adult at a time?

I guess I'll never know...

WOOOOOEEEEEEEEEWOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEWOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEE!!!!!! That's my siren/alarm noise and that means its WALMART TIME PEOPLE!!!!!!


So I needed some gas and I just *knew* there would be a WalMart here, so I stopped.

I think it's somewhere in West Virginia. Anyway, not too great of creatures, but I'm getting better at taking pictures.

She had a great walk. She was struttin' her stuff. UH UH UH.

This woman was sportin' some sweet crocs. And anyone who wears crocs is dib-worthy. Usually. Because Crocs are disgusting. And I don't want to hear "but they are comfortable," I'd rather put pieces of glass in my sneakers and walk ten thousand miles (when all I need is a spoon) than wear crocs.

OLD LADY TIME. Two of these ladies were in line in front of me at the checkout, and the checkout lady was also old... IT WAS A TRIFUCKTA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! (Get it?!?!?! Ask your mom to explain it.)

 This woman was pretty rad.

See here for more WalMartians... They aren't of the caliber of People of WalMart... BUT I'M WORKING ON IT.


Maryland snuck up on me like the dirty whore it is, so I didn't catch the sign. But there was this one:

The yellow sign should say, "is delicious."

So today's drive was bend-y (I can't say wind-y because it's not windy... it's windy... see the problem?!?!?), but very green! It was really pretty green. But it was hilly. And my car doesn't like hills. AT ALL. And I think my fuel gauge is messed up... so YAY! Long story short, I had to pay attention this entire drive which isn't how I like to drive. The first two days I just put the car on cruise control, laid in the back and took a nap. But West Virginia and Maryland are WAYYYYYYY hilly and wind-y and junk. But it was pretty. See pictures here.


Me taking a break to be FUCKING AWESOME:

Oh, and my butt was REALLY HURTING by this point:

Mmmmm... that's a present for you.

This is in Maryland:

It's Sideling Hill. Neat.

ALMOST THERE!!!!!

So I didn't take any pictures when I got to D.C. because it was really dark and I was meeting a friend and blah blah blah DEAL WITH IT. But I will take a picture of my mileage tomorrow and determine how far I drove. Except that I drove around and did some errands today but WHATEVER.

Anyway, I got to my friend's apartment and he has such a great view! You can see the Washington Monument and the Capitol from his window. There is also a rooftop patio which is sweeeeeeeeeeeetttttt. I will take pictures when I am back there and it's daytime.

So my friend and his roommate and I went to Town, a gay club about a block from his house. 

COME SEE HOW GOOD I LOOK.

I'd do me.



After we got to the club, there was a pageant going on upstairs:

Downstairs, 3oh!3 came on the screen! Since Albert and I lived in Boulder, we both took a picture of the screen because WE ARE COOL LIKE THAT. His roommate lived in Boulder but didn't take a picture... how lamesuck of him.

After a little bit, a drag show started downstairs (this week is Pride!!!)!! YAY!!! The first couple queens were great, and then it went real downhill, so we went upstairs to dance since the pageant was over.

[SIDENOTE: I HAVE PRESENTS FOR SOME PEOPLE (6 readers, I think) FROM TOWN AND IT IS AWESOME AND YOU WILL LOVE IT. If you know you aren't included in the six but want a present, let me know, I will probably be going back there.]

After the club, we all went back to Albert's apartment, and went to the roof and hung out and talked for EVER. Then we went to bed... separately :( or did we????? ;)


In the morning, I showered, and as soon as I turned off the water, the fire alarm went off... NEAT! Albert ran out screaming, and his roommate waited for me as I got dressed. Yes, we took the elevator. We stood outside for a few minutes, and then it turned off. Later, we learned someone had pulled the alarm. What a lamesuck, uglydumb person they must be.

Then Albert and I walked to DC Noodles and ate lunch. Then he walked me back and I left for University of Maryland.

I got here and met the program coordinator. She handed me my keys and said, "See you Monday!" then peaced. I probably smelled.

I brought most of my shizzzzz in, and sweated off seven pounds in the process. Luckily the apartment is air-conditioned. But as I was unpacking, I was still sweating uncontrollably. Neat. Isn't humidity great? (It isn't).

It's so humid here that I literally sweated my dick off. Like seriously, I have no dick anymore. My friend commented that that was weird considering how big it was. I agreed. But it's just that humid. And I sweated my balls off the previous day.


The apartment is sort of a common area-thingy. There is a kitchen and a "family room" with some couches. There are two double rooms and two singles. I have a roommate, she's from Moscow, and just graduated from a university in Virginia. She seems cool. I don't know if they have "pillow fights in your underwear" in Russia, so I'm nervous about bringing it up. Also, anytime she says anything like, "I have to go to the bathroom," I am going to respond with, "In Soviet Russia, bathroom goes you" in my best (worst?) Russian accent. She'll love it, it'll be great. TEN SHORT WEEKS!!!! One of my friends thinks it'll be two weeks before she asks for a new room assignment... I said, "that long?"


Saving the best for last, I FOUND A VERIZON AND ORDERED MY FUCKING DROID TODAY. I am so unbelievably excited, its unbelievable. Is it here yet? I hope so. It should get here in 2.5 weeks. Someone tell me when that is. [I am so used to Vivian telling me everything I need to know for the last three days that I have decided not to wake Gus Gus up for anything anymore.]

Woo!! DROID!!! I got a red case and a car charger and a bluetooth and some screen protectors and I am thinking of cuddling with the Verizon bag when I sleep tonight, in hopes the Verizon fairy will visit sooner than 2.5 weeks.

But I am also worried that the Droid will not arrive because the guy I worked with at the store was... RETARDED. It must have been his first day. AND HIS LAST. (HA!) Just kidding... it wasn't that bad because I knew exactly what I wanted, AND HOW TO GET IT. But we spent, legit, 30 minutes of me telling him how to put my campus address into the store's system. But in 2.5 weeks, I'll forget all about it. But I did remember his name in case I need to go back and yell and do some face-in-wall smashing. It's John.

Um... there were more things I wanted to say, but I forgot what they were. Hmm... Hmm...


Well, I am hanging out tonight. Gonna watch Blades of Glory with my friend in Colorado. We are both gonna start the movie at the same time. It'll be like we are watching it together! And then at a predesignated spot, we will both stop watching the movie and start "watching" the movie... if you know what I mean. I'M EXCITED.

Tomorrow, I might be hanging out with Albert some more. Then on Monday... THINGS HAPPEN. I'm scared. But this entire week is Pride in D.C., and then on Saturday, they are airing one of the World Cup games in DuPont Circle, and then the parade is afterward. YAY!