But there is some awesome story to be told, I'll *try* (read: won't try) to keep it short.
So the fizzlebizzle drove down on Friday, July 16th. Mom said they were going to try to leave around 9am. I texted her at 8:45am asking if they were here yet. I texted five more times throughout the day, and then texted Bill, with no response. Finally, at 4:30pm, I called my Mom who FINALLY answered and said, "Oh, we're here." UGH. Parents! Am I right?
So I drove the peeps (other interns) home, packed some stuff for the weekend and headed to the hotel. Said hi to the peeps (the fam), gave them their presents I had boughten (<-- it's a word because I said so) them and we went to Outback Steakhouse for dindin.
Gram Hilarity #1:
On the way to Outback, I brought up a question of vital importance with Gram-town. Did I say question? I meant mandate.
You see, I don't have the greatest teeth in the world...
But GRAM got herself some realllll bling:
Now, Gram takes these beauties in and out every night. We've seen the pure horror their absence can cause.
So, I asked politely if I could have her teeth when she passes on. My question was met with laughter, as most statements/questions/concerns/utterances of mine are.
"YOU'RE NOT GOING TO NEED THEM!!!!"
*laughter continues*
It was time to bring out the big guns.
"Look Gram. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. The easy way, you set them aside at your final moments for me. The hard way? I bring a crowbar to your funeral." [Note: I was going to bring a crowbar to the funeral anyway, merely as a form of protection... I mean, you don't know what kind of crowd this woman hangs around... I mean, just LOOK at her grill, yo!]
In the end, Gram now accepts that her teeth are now 'our' teeth. I wanted to try them on, to see how well they fit and if I'd have to get them refitted... but, well... let's just she's fiesty!
Gram Hilarity #2:
Gram: "I'll have some of your house chardonnay."
Waiter: "One glass?"
Gram scoffs and gives him 'the eye'.
Gram: "Oh, haha, for now!"
Me: "Oh, she just does it to get drunk."
Gram turns 'the eye' on me as I'm laughing hysterically. The waiter looks frightened, Bill looks hungry and Mom has the "Oh Becca" look on her face. Gram hits me. It's a sweet stinging.
After dinner, I figured out what we would be doing the next day because SOMEONE came with tons of "Me wanteys" and no "solid plans"... MOM.
So I looked up the trolley route and wrote out a highly idealized trip. After I DID EVERYTHING, Mom went to her room and Gram and I watched some TV and then went to bed.... ;)
The next day we took the metro to the trolley and got on. We went to the Lincoln and Vietnam Memorials, then we went to the Natural History museum. We ate lunch there for $1000 each, but at least the museum was free.
Gram Hilarity #3:
Gram: "Oh my! I thought that said the 'Hall of Human Organs!'
Little did she know...
We went through the dinosaur room and the oceans room, and then the group rested while I traversed the ice age and human ORGANS (!... I wish...) rooms. Then we all went upstairs to see the Hope Diamond ("That ain't so big.") and some gems 'n junk. We lost Bill and I ducked into the asteroid room and looked around.
Gram Hilarity #4:
Gram: "That must be where giraffes come from!"
Me: "That must be why people go to high school!"
The human organs room was just that. But it was more like human SEXUAL organs room. I took pictures for your pointing and giggling pleasure:
BOOBIES!
That guy's dick is on FIRE! (And not from the gonorrhea that ran rampant in the olden days).
Little peepee.
I do have to say that the ice age room had the two of the greatest scenes. First, a ritual burial, complete with boobies!! YAY!
Next, it had a background scene of some sweet animals:
And I'd just like to know... WTF is this guy???
After the museum, we were all tired and so we trolleyed a bit more, and then took the metro back to Greenbelt. THEN WE NAPPED (together...)! :)
Gram woke everyone up for dinner (inconsiderate, really), but Mom wasn't feeling well so we left her to
Bill was raving like a lunatic about how Chevy's is God in Mexican-food-form, so we went there. Long story short, Gram and I didn't even eat half of our shared enchiladas. Don't go there. IT SUCKS.
After dinner, we went back and Bill read Mom's Brides magazine, while Gram spouted random thought after random thought that popped into her little woman-sized brain. Finally, I couldn't handle any more stories about my uncles so we went upstairs and went to bed.
The next day we trolleyed to Georgetown and ate lunch. Then we trolleyed home and napped.
Then Daddy and I had our first real father-son bonding time! We went on a ghost tour. We metroed to DC and went to Lafayette Park, right in front of this big, white house. As we waited for the tour to start, Daddy taught me how to change a flat tire and how to properly love a woman (I was doing wayyy more than I needed to! Thanks Dad!).
For our waiting pleasure, our tour guide had ear hair... on the OUTER PART OF HIS EAR.
Can you see it? You can. Unfortunately, it's true excellence can only be experienced in real life. But if you can't make it to a tour with DJ, there are plenty of NASAites with this sultry attribute.
Well, DJ was great and took us around the square telling us about ghosts. It was HOT and STICKY. But it was pretty entertaining. There is even a ghost cat! (More on ghost cat in a future post). There were three boys (I think all from separate families) and they were ADORABLE! I took lots of pictures of them. One was SO cute because his Mom kept wanting to take his picture and would tell him to stand in front of the building and he REALLY didn't want to and he would 'huff' and then force out a smile. They're precious, aren't they? (The one sitting down in the red shirt is the one with the picture-taking Mom).
I really like the ghost tour because it was right in front of this white house and I took pictures of it.
They invited me in, but I was on a ghost tour with my daddy!
Bill and I sweated home and he told me he was proud of me, and that I could do anything if I put my mind to it or had enough money. Before we went back to the hotel, we shared a hooker in one of the many back alleys of DC, and he learned me how to take care of one of them, Ted Kennedy-style. That's what Dads are for.
It was the end of another day, and the peeps were leaving in the morning and I had to go to work... BOOoooOOOOoooO!!!!
But in the morning, I got two more priceless gems:
Just call her, "G-train."
And finally,
Rebecca, Lynne, and Rebecca Lynne :)
I think Bill has a better version but SOMEONE won't get him to put it on the computer to send to me!
:) :) :) MOMMMMMMMMM....
More pictures from the visit here.
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