Phone Call

So I was on the phone yesterday, and some hilarity ensued. I shall share it with you. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

I have a whole other post to write about phones in general, so I will leave that for another time. Possibly directly after this post, but in this post, I'll just include the hilarious aspects of the call.

So I was on the phone with someone, I'll call her, Boffo, and I was sitting outside because it was loud in the apartment. Since it was a phone sex hotline, the conversation quickly turned from hellos and pleasantries to my extraordinary ability to pleasure a woman.

 "Take out those dentures, baby."

As such, I mentioned that "inner beauty's not for me" and Boffo quickly affirmed my statement with her own, "If I have to get to know you to figure out if I like you, no deal." To solidify my point, I continued that I totally judge books by their covers. [I mean, why have a cover then?] If I'm at a bookstore, I will pick up a book that has a pretty cover to see what it's about. I'm not going to pick up that ugly book because I'm simply not interested. But Boffo was one step ahead of me on this point, "Seriously," she said, "if a book has a pretty cover, I'll take it home and sleep with it. But if it doesn't, I won't."


It's a good thing I'm completely fucking adorable.

When I'm angry:

 When I'm sleeping:










Further hilarity ensued when Emily went on a smokewalk. I was sitting in Emily's designated smoking area, so she had to go away. On her way back, and to my hilarious surprise, well... We reenacted it for you here:

There were further items of hilarity in/during the phone call, but children might be reading this...

Alas, after three hours, my credit card ran out and I was forced to say goodnight to Boffo. But I didn't say goodnight to Jill...