Phone Talkin' - A Rant, Part One

The kids with their technology these days! Am I right?!!?!?!

When I was a kid, we had PHONES WITH CORDS!

It's true! She knows it. [Is she flipping me off?]


AND, the only phones that existed were in houses! Phones didn't exist outside of houses unless you were that family with a cord long enough to reach outside. Who did they think they were, anyway?


We also had to memorize the phone numbers of people we liked! Meaning, I knew three phone numbers. My own house phone, my Gram's, and my friend, Sue's, house phone. I didn't need to talk to anyone else.



Then people started developing PURE MAGIC.

And this magic was met with protests similar to those protesting Fred Phelps at this year's Comic-Con:

But anyway, this "magic" miniaturized our house phones and, gasp!, got rid of the cords! The cords that bound us to, at most, a 10-foot radius encircling half the family room and half the kitchen. It truly was liberating.


I got my first cell phone when I was 12ish. It was my Dad's old one. It had one feature! It called people. It was small, and black, and it had a two-line screen that was black with orange numbers. HOT.
I don't think I used it much, but I carried it around all the time, because I was cool like that.


Nowadays, with their hippin' and their hoppin', and their bippin' and their boppin', they don't know what the JAZZ is all about! (Name it. Five points. Not you, Nick).


But yeah, cell phones really are the shizzz, am I right? Even G-town has one. I mean, she wishes she could find one that has only the one feature, but she'll learn.

Anyway, I think getting my first cell phone at 12 (even though these days kids are handed one right when they pop out), and the fact that over the course of my sweet, innocent life cell phones went from whozitwhatsit? to ZZOOOOOOOOOMMMMGGGG DRRRROOOIIIIDDD!!! in a matter of years, has really jacked up my sense of 'waiting.'

This applies to emails too, as sending messages went from the high-wait-time of sending paper letters to the split-second-lightning-fast ability of emailing. And this really messes with my 'impatience disorder.'

If I call it a disorder, it's medical and it's not my fault. :) :) :) :)

But here's what it entails:
- headache
- upset stomach
- bloating
- nausea or vomiting
- weakness of the hands or joints
- UTTER AND PROFOUND IMPATIENCE*
- retroperitonealfibrosis

*Let me elaborate.
Now, I judge everyone else according to me. Meaning, I am normal, and everyone else is a FREAK. Thus, whatever I do/think/say is right, and everyone else is wrong. It's science, people.

Even thuser, in accordance with my impatience disorder, I have time limits within which I operate (for phone calls, texts, and emails).

Phone calls:

If you call me, but I don't answer.
DON'T leave a voice message saying, "Hey, I called. Call me back."
- I know you called. My phone tells me that (usually).
- A lot of times, I am seeing that you are calling at that very instant, I just don't want to talk to you.
- I HATE listening to voice messages. The only reason I do is either 1. Because you've got the awesomest sounding voice  IN THE WORLD, or 2. To get rid of that stupid voicemail icon.
- If I want to talk to you, I will call you back. 

There ARE stipulations to this:
1. If I don't know you, leave a message or else I'm like, "Who the balls is this?"
2. If you have an awesome voice, leave a message so I can... listen... to it later.
3. If it's important, leave a message so that I know it's important.
4. If you have vital information to tell me, leave a message.
5. If you are a business/doctor/'the man', leave a message because that's the "respectable" thing to do.
6. If you are a mom... I'LL CALL YOU BACK! But if it's important, you should TEXT ME, or else I get worried because you left a message and then I'm like, "Ahh! I should listen to this message, it could be important!" And then I have an internal struggle because I HATE having to go through the process of listening to a message. Then I try to think of all the things that could have happened and by this point, I forgot that you left a message and I'm off doing something else. EVERYONE LOSES. :) :) :) [Mom - Can't wait to miss your call and listen to your voice message telling me you called :) :) :) ]


If I call you and you don't answer. [This should never happen, but in the rare chance it does.]
Ideally, you will call me right back. But I'm not that impatient... yet... If it is important, I will leave a message. If it is just a quick question, I will send you a text (see text return time limit). Thus, for a phone call, I would hope you would return the call within a day if I was just wanting to talk. But, I know that people lose track of time, and so I am not as antsy about this time of time limit. If I need some sort of information out of you, it's one day. If we are just trying to get a hold of each other to talk, I'd give it a week before I cross you off my friends list (Phone tagging resets the time limit...).

Texting:

Texting is the way of the future man! Same with instant messaging/chatting. But this really won't take hold until we are able to italicize in our texts and chats. Italics is a vital part of my onlineical self-expression, and until we breach this hurdle, we are no better off than a monkey at a typewriter. [Wait, we could write Shakespeare? What?].

Thusly,

If I text you.
Unless you are sleeping or driving in one of those loser states, I expect a reply within five minutes. I don't think that's unreasonable. Don't 'whatever' me, man. I know your phone is glued to you (Tahlia, glue your phone to you!). Everyone has their phone at all times and in all places (except Tahlia, when she loses it... but not if it's glued to her!). There is no reason not to send me a text back, unless you're a mom and technology is hard.

But DON'T 
- text me back one-letter texts like, 'k'. You are wasting my precious texts! Especially if you are on some other dumb cell provider (Mom - did you fix that yet?). At least include a funny joke when you do this.
- write me a gd novel. I'd rather talk to you. I mean, my fingers don't need the workout ;) Except that I text with my thumbs... so that doesn't make sense. BUT YOU GET MY POINT. [Actually, I don't mind long texts, but it's hard to carry on a conversation that way, because you will text something long, and it will take me a while to respond, but then you text again, and then I have to start again or revise what I am saying and it just gets so darn complicated!]


But DO
- text me if you're bored. SO AM I.
- text me just to say 'hey' but don't have anything to talk about. This is one of the greatest results from texting I think. A lot of times, I really want to talk to you, but I legit have nothing to say. Since I'm awkward on the phone as it is, I'd feel really dumb calling and be like, "Hi. What's up?..." BUT, this is okay on text. It's more acceptable or something. I mean, who doesn't love getting, "Hey, just thinking of you, what's up?" texts? TERRORISTS, that's who. (Just kidding, even terrorists love them).


Emailing:

I think emails should generally be replied to in a couple of days, but even I don't follow this (gasp!). But I don't count the weekend as days because I know some people are freaks and don't check their email every five seconds like normal people do (me). However, if you are a professor/mentor/boss and I am working with you, you should definitely email me back that day, if not that hour (especially if you are just upstairs in your office), because, typically, I can't move on until I hear from you. And if you're the mom, I know you are just sitting at your desk playing Atlantis, so why does it take you so long to respond sometimes? UNACCEPTABLE. :) :)

At most, you should be able to respond within a week.

[I'm really glad this has turned into a rant. It's been a while.]

Another pet peeve of mine is when I email you a question and you NEVER email me back (LOOKING AT YOU TAHLIA AND MB). Now, it's not a question I need the answer to right away, so I'll give you a week... but NEVER??? COME ON! I'm not emailing you for my health (actually, I might be), so it's important! EMAIL ME BACK! I sent you that funny link because I wanted to know what you thought of it. As much as I wish I could read your (sexy, dirty) thoughts (MB), I can't (yet). SO TELL THEM TO ME. I NEED YOUR CONSTANT LOVE AND APPROVAL. CONSTANTLY.

Love you both!

Anyway, as a summary:

Type                  Time Limit (Ideal)                Time Limit (Max)
Phone Call        One day                                 One week
Text                   Five minutes                         One day
Email                One day                                 One week

Now, there are some people who are true ... 'freaks.' My ex(SAD!!!)roommate for example. Mike NEVER checked his email, even during school, and he always had his phone with him, but I rarely saw him on it in the two years we lived together. I accepted this 'alternative lifestyle', although I didn't like it. So, I would only talk to him in person, and then remind him repeatedly.

But as many of us finish college and go to grad school and jobs that may or may not be near one another, we all need a way of staying in touch! I MISS YOU GOD DAMN IT! So, if you are one of these 'alternativers' you better change. I feel like a real a-hole trying to constantly get a hold of you. That's why I love G-chat. My bfffffs are on it, and we talk at work. PERFECT. I have to say it would have been *MUCH* harder getting through these ten weeks if I didn't have T-town to talk to on G-chat almost every single day (love you!!! WRITE ME BACK! JK... I'm not waiting on an email... yet...).

But, if you are unwilling to change with the times, then I am sad to say we won't stay in touch and we will drift aimlessly apart into the infinite abyss I call, "Planet Earth." Now, I am a horrible stay-in-touch-er, but there are SOME of you that I WILL stay in touch with. So why don't you just make it easier for the both of us and call/text/email me THE F back????

KISSES!!!!
XOXOXOXOXOXOX





PHEW! Well, that finishes the rant section. But you know what's funny? I didn't even get to the part of the post that was the idea that originally started this post... fancy that!

Mucher thuser, I am going to have to finish this tomorrow... or another day. So here is the first part.

What I Do At Work

Phone Call

So I was on the phone yesterday, and some hilarity ensued. I shall share it with you. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

I have a whole other post to write about phones in general, so I will leave that for another time. Possibly directly after this post, but in this post, I'll just include the hilarious aspects of the call.

So I was on the phone with someone, I'll call her, Boffo, and I was sitting outside because it was loud in the apartment. Since it was a phone sex hotline, the conversation quickly turned from hellos and pleasantries to my extraordinary ability to pleasure a woman.

 "Take out those dentures, baby."

As such, I mentioned that "inner beauty's not for me" and Boffo quickly affirmed my statement with her own, "If I have to get to know you to figure out if I like you, no deal." To solidify my point, I continued that I totally judge books by their covers. [I mean, why have a cover then?] If I'm at a bookstore, I will pick up a book that has a pretty cover to see what it's about. I'm not going to pick up that ugly book because I'm simply not interested. But Boffo was one step ahead of me on this point, "Seriously," she said, "if a book has a pretty cover, I'll take it home and sleep with it. But if it doesn't, I won't."


It's a good thing I'm completely fucking adorable.

When I'm angry:

 When I'm sleeping:










Further hilarity ensued when Emily went on a smokewalk. I was sitting in Emily's designated smoking area, so she had to go away. On her way back, and to my hilarious surprise, well... We reenacted it for you here:

There were further items of hilarity in/during the phone call, but children might be reading this...

Alas, after three hours, my credit card ran out and I was forced to say goodnight to Boffo. But I didn't say goodnight to Jill...

National Aquarium in Baltimore

On Saturday, Emily, Sean, Iva and I went to the National Aquarium in Baltimore. It was great! I highly recommend it.

There were big sharks and rays and it was COOL! All the pictures I took are here. I'm going to try to get Sean's because my camera was dumb.

We saw a dolphin show, and it was TOTALLY AWESOME!!! I am going to try and put the videos all here, and on Facebook. Enjoy!!!

   ONE!

    TWO!

   THREE!!!    FOUR!!!

     FIVE!!!!

   SIX!!!!

     SEVEN!!!!

     EIGHT!!!!

NINE!!!

IT'S ABOUT GD TIME

SOMEONE finally uploaded the pics from when the fimFam was here. They are here (the pictures, not the Fam).

But there is some awesome story to be told, I'll *try* (read: won't try) to keep it short.

So the fizzlebizzle drove down on Friday, July 16th. Mom said they were going to try to leave around 9am. I texted her at 8:45am asking if they were here yet. I texted five more times throughout the day, and then texted Bill, with no response. Finally, at 4:30pm, I called my Mom who FINALLY answered and said, "Oh, we're here." UGH. Parents! Am I right?

So I drove the peeps (other interns) home, packed some stuff for the weekend and headed to the hotel. Said hi to the peeps (the fam), gave them their presents I had boughten (<-- it's a word because I said so) them and we went to Outback Steakhouse for dindin.

Gram Hilarity #1: 
On the way to Outback, I brought up a question of vital importance with Gram-town. Did I say question? I meant mandate.
 
You see, I don't have the greatest teeth in the world...

 But GRAM got herself some realllll bling:

Now, Gram takes these beauties in and out every night. We've seen the pure horror their absence can cause.

So, I asked politely if I could have her teeth when she passes on. My question was met with laughter, as most statements/questions/concerns/utterances of mine are.

"YOU'RE NOT GOING TO NEED THEM!!!!"
*laughter continues*
It was time to bring out the big guns.
"Look Gram. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. The easy way, you set them aside at your final moments for me. The hard way? I bring a crowbar to your funeral." [Note: I was going to bring a crowbar to the funeral anyway, merely as a form of protection... I mean, you don't know what kind of crowd this woman hangs around... I mean, just LOOK at her grill, yo!]

In the end, Gram now accepts that her teeth are now 'our' teeth. I wanted to try them on, to see how well they fit and if I'd have to get them refitted... but, well... let's just she's fiesty!

After 13 years of looking for a parking space, we finally got to Outback.

Gram Hilarity #2:
Gram: "I'll have some of your house chardonnay."
Waiter: "One glass?"
Gram scoffs and gives him 'the eye'.
Gram: "Oh, haha, for now!"
Me: "Oh, she just does it to get drunk."
Gram turns 'the eye' on me as I'm laughing hysterically. The waiter looks frightened, Bill looks hungry and Mom has the "Oh Becca" look on her face. Gram hits me. It's a sweet stinging.


After dinner, I figured out what we would be doing the next day because SOMEONE came with tons of "Me wanteys" and no "solid plans"... MOM.

So I looked up the trolley route and wrote out a highly idealized trip. After I DID EVERYTHING, Mom went to her room and Gram and I watched some TV and then went to bed.... ;)


The next day we took the metro to the trolley and got on. We went to the Lincoln and Vietnam Memorials, then we went to the Natural History museum. We ate lunch there for $1000 each, but at least the museum was free.

Gram Hilarity #3:

As we were eating:
Gram: "Oh my! I thought that said the 'Hall of Human Organs!'
Little did she know...

We went through the dinosaur room and the oceans room, and then the group rested while I traversed the ice age and human ORGANS (!... I wish...) rooms. Then we all went upstairs to see the Hope Diamond ("That ain't so big.") and some gems 'n junk. We lost Bill and I ducked into the asteroid room and looked around.

 Gram Hilarity #4:

Gram: "That must be where giraffes come from!"
Me: "That must be why people go to high school!"

The human organs room was just that. But it was more like human SEXUAL organs room. I took pictures for your pointing and giggling pleasure:

BOOBIES!

That guy's dick is on FIRE! (And not from the gonorrhea that ran rampant in the olden days).

 Little peepee.







 I do have to say that the ice age room had the two of the greatest scenes. First, a ritual burial, complete with boobies!! YAY!

Next, it had a background scene of some sweet animals:

And I'd just like to know... WTF is this guy???



After the museum, we were all tired and so we trolleyed a bit more, and then took the metro back to Greenbelt. THEN WE NAPPED (together...)! :)

Gram woke everyone up for dinner (inconsiderate, really), but Mom wasn't feeling well so we left her to die rest. WE WERE HUNGRY.

Bill was raving like a lunatic about how Chevy's is God in Mexican-food-form, so we went there. Long story short, Gram and I didn't even eat half of our shared enchiladas. Don't go there. IT SUCKS.

After dinner, we went back and Bill read Mom's Brides magazine, while Gram spouted random thought after random thought that popped into her little woman-sized brain. Finally, I couldn't handle any more stories about my uncles so we went upstairs and went to bed.

The next day we trolleyed to Georgetown and ate lunch. Then we trolleyed home and napped.

Then Daddy and I had our first real father-son bonding time! We went on a ghost tour. We metroed to DC and went to Lafayette Park, right in front of this big, white house. As we waited for the tour to start, Daddy taught me how to change a flat tire and how to properly love a woman (I was doing wayyy more than I needed to! Thanks Dad!).

For our waiting pleasure, our tour guide had ear hair... on the OUTER PART OF HIS EAR.

Can you see it? You can. Unfortunately, it's true excellence can only be experienced in real life. But if you can't make it to a tour with DJ, there are plenty of NASAites with this sultry attribute.

Well, DJ was great and took us around the square telling us about ghosts. It was HOT and STICKY. But it was pretty entertaining. There is even a ghost cat! (More on ghost cat in a future post). There were three boys (I think all from separate families) and they were ADORABLE! I took lots of pictures of them. One was SO cute because his Mom kept wanting to take his picture and would tell him to stand in front of the building and he REALLY didn't want to and he would 'huff' and then force out a smile. They're precious, aren't they? (The one sitting down in the red shirt is the one with the picture-taking Mom).

I really like the ghost tour because it was right in front of this white house and I took pictures of it.

They invited me in, but I was on a ghost tour with my daddy!

Bill and I sweated home and he told me he was proud of me, and that I could do anything if I put my mind to it or had enough money. Before we went back to the hotel, we shared a hooker in one of the many back alleys of DC, and he learned me how to take care of one of them, Ted Kennedy-style. That's what Dads are for.


It was the end of another day, and the peeps were leaving in the morning and I had to go to work... BOOoooOOOOoooO!!!!



But in the morning, I got two more priceless gems:

Just call her, "G-train."


And finally,

Rebecca, Lynne, and Rebecca Lynne :)

I think Bill has a better version but SOMEONE won't get him to put it on the computer to send to me!
:) :) :) MOMMMMMMMMM....

More pictures from the visit here.

Do I Really Need More Evidence That Emily is a Freak?

I don't.



I was sitting out in the common area last night and I hear a shrill "WHERE DID THIS COME FROM??!?!?!!!?" from the bathroom. Emily comes into the common room and asks me, "How long have I had this?" pointing to something on her chin. I can't really see anything because of the bad lighting, so we go into the bathroom. Then she shows me this inch-and-a-half-long black hair on the side of her face. HOT RIGHT?

But we were a bit puzzled at its sudden appearance. Unfortunately, I look at Emily a lot throughout the day, whether I am talking to her or secretly plotting her gruesome death from my desk three chairs away. And, just previous to this hair discovery, I had been sitting next to her on the couch, ON THE HAIR SIDE! Emily thinks the hair sprouted overnight, but I think it popped up in the minutes between the couch-sitting and the mirror-looking-in.


The conclusion is, this hair is an omen telling me, in even greater emphasis, that Emily is a freak and should any part of my body/clothing/belongings touch her or anything she has ever touched, I should quickly douse it in gasoline and burn away the pure, sacrilegious evil.

The Apocalypse Has Already Started...

Today I got my first Silly Bandz from my suitemate, Nikki:

This Week is Scaring Me

So no one has let me know about the 'two-letter word' rule for titles and so I HATE ALL OF YOU :)


Anyway, this week is scaring the BALLS off of me. Legit... I have NO BALLS.

Let me explain.

Last Friday, my Mom, G-ram and Bile drove town from NY to tourist it up (more posts to follow on this). We went to Outback Steakhouse that night, which is ALWAYS HEAVENLY. And for some reason, the Chocolate Thunder from Down Under (brownie/ice cream deliciousness), which is my all-time favorite dessert ever in the history of life, was EVEN MORE GD DELICIOUS THAN IT EVER HAS BEEN BEFORE. So that was nice :)

THEN, I got to stay in the hotel with my Gram and the bed was fluffy, pillowy, downy comfyness (not the same as my bed, but amazing nonetheless). Additionally, I got to have a Belgian waffle for breakfast each morning!

On Saturday, we trolleyed around DC and saw the Lincoln Memorial and the Natch History Museum, which was also great.

On Sunday, we trolleyed around DC some more, went to Georgetown, had lunch, came back to the hotel and napped, and Bill and I went on a ghost tour, right in front of the White House, which was also great! My new daddy and I totally bonded and he told me about the changes my body is going through as we played catch in the backyard and talked about girls.

Then on Monday, the day flew by like a fast-flying bird of some sort. I had lunch with Mickey, Sean and Emily at Chipotle and it was everything you could hope for in a lunch with friends. That night, Mickey and Emily and I saw INCEPTION AND IT WAS GLORIOUS. Also, I got a letter stating that the erroneous $300 parking ticket that the University of Maryland issued me because they are dickbags was voided... HUZZAH!

Tuesday happened.

On Wednesday, Geronimo was shooting lasers at me and Boncho walked in and made a joke (not a joke) about aliens on Mars and then in his Bulgarian talkyness, he said something about 'correspondence' and 'grant money' about sending me somewhere... and then Geronimo even said something about me wanting to continue my work... HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHEHE

On Thursday, I had a great hair day! And Avi, Sean's mentor, gave us a talk at lunchtime, and it was a great presentation and I had asked (insightful!) questions and even joked about kitty videos with him!

On Friday, we left early to get our paychecks, that were still not direct-deposited after 7 weeks, but I was still riding my high, so I'll just send this "Adrienne" person a puppy email. After work, Emily and I went to B-dubs-dubs, which was no big thing, but it was hilarious listening to this team of basketball players sitting next to us yell out (what they thought were) the answers to the trivia questions. They also liked my trivia name, B-Real.

Later that night, Emily and I went to Albert's and had fun playing Rock Band, and I also REDISCOVERED THE AWESOME THAT IS THE GAME, CATCHPHRASE. Emily and I played on the metro on the ride home, and people on the metro started playing with us... that's pretty awesome.

 

TODAY, Emily, Sean, Iva and I went to the National Aquarium at Baltimore and it was AWESOME. I highly recommend the dolphin show, which was great. And the aquarium is really set up in a great way so that everyone is ushered in one direction so there is no random haphazard stampeding around.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST!!!!

Y'all remember my Droid experience... I beat it into your heads enough, didn't I?

WELL IT'S BACK!


So, I finally got my Droid Incredible on June 30th. On July 15th, Verizon came out with the Droid X which is smaller and better and cooler and makey me wanty.

WELL, I figured... this isn't fair! It's the same GD price I paid for the dumb Incredible which is now obsolete! How am I supposed to win friends when I don't have the latest Droid??!?! I'm not. Thus, I decided to got to Verizon and complain. WHY THE HECK NOT?

When I got there, I immediately asked for a manager. Long story short, it was no big deal and I should receive the Droid X on August 4th!!! (We will see about that). I was even able to return the Droid Incredible case! So I only lost $13 on the deal for the screen protectors.

That not ain't bad!

So I am using my Dare again for the next 11 days, but hopefully then, I will have the X!

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH


So Emily and I have been talking, and we are TERRIFIED of next week, because this week has been so great. I'm thinking next week the Apocalypse might occur. 

 Or maybe the Mayans got their dates wrong and the whole "2012" thing is happening next week.

My Gram also says that Obama is Hitler, and since I'm so close to DC, he could have something planned for next week. I mean, I don't have any Jew-gold or anything, but mistakes happen.

I mean, really, there are any number of things that could happen next week.

Oh, those already happened.


Well anyway, Emily decided she's going to poop on my bed so that next week isn't terrifying.

More From Yesterday

So... in my haste of posting yesterday, I forgot to add some things to the NASA update. Here it is:

I spent yesterday with Geronimo, with him desperately trying to learn me in the hopes that my tiny brain would comprehend the simple difference between resolving power and sampling power. After he threw up his hands in frustration many times, it was 5pm and I call that quittin' time. As I was leaving his office, Emily and her mentor, Boncho (!), entered. Emily made some wisecrack about me being dumb, which she claimed was a sincere comment about my sheer brilliance... I told her to shut her slutty mouth when she's talking to me, and Geronimo felt the need to clear the air by interjecting that I am 'doing a great job.' As he said this, I quickly had my switchblade at Emily's throat, her pushed up against Boncho's desk, with Boncho cowering in the corner, his face stricken with fear. Emily continued to point at me and repeat 'dumb dumb dumb dumb' in a sing-song voice, while Geronimo repeated that I am 'doing a great job,' while rolling his eyes and nudging the guy next to him. "This guy..." he says, pointing to me, "this is what NASA sends me, you believe this?" The guy next to him nods, his arms crossed over his chest. "I'm Big G!" Geronimo continues, "I'm the G-man!" A smile appears upon Boncho's fear-stricken face as he beings to clap and bow slightly in Geronimo's direction. "That's my Bonch!" Geronimo says.

Long story short, Emily has a large gash at her throat and Geronimo thinks I'm "doing a great job."

Apparently after I left, when the others were tending to Emily's knifewound, they continued joking at my expense. Emily told me later that G mentioned that I "have processed a lot of data" and that the documents I wrote have been "really great."

We'll see who's great... [Note: Mom - this doesn't mean 'No. Who's great.' like you think it does.]



Answer: Me. I'm great.





ANYWAY, do you guys like how I always put 'long story short' after I have already told the story? I like it.


MOVING ON, I thought it'd be neat if I took some pictures of the notes Geronimo and I drew/wrote while he was learning me. Here they are, for your undecipherable pleasure (in order of writeage):

I also thought that I would send you the wikipedia links for the things I (was supposed to be) learn(ing)ed, if you are a masochist like that. 

Signal Processing

Sampling Error

Nyquist Theorem

Convolution

Fourier Transform

Inverse Fourier Transform
Fast Fourier Transform 
Love


As such, yesterday in my minutes away from G, I ecstaticized around Emily, who kept walking away like I wasn't even around. (This may or may have led to the knife incident).

Well, Emily sure got a taste because today da Bonch decided to LEARN HER! HA! Well, at one point, da Bonch was learning her on a dry-erase board, and I took a picture for Emily to cherish for years to come... if she would read my blog without having to be held at knifepoint for once.

All I see is a set a boobs not quite covered by a see-through halter-top. I am glad he made use of both colors of marker though.

What Is It? Like, Post Day or Something???

I drew my roommate a picture. I hope she likes it.

SHE DID LIKE IT:

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

ZZZZZZZZZOOOOOMMMMMMGGGGGGZZZZZZZZZ CCCCCCUUUUUTTTTTEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Sleepy Kittie
from Matthew, the most perfect boy in the world.
(It really is a shame about the penis).

Running Puppies
from Matthew's sexier half.
(It really is a blessing, the vagina).

Look how cute I can be, even when I'm angry:

ADORABLE!!!! :) :) :) :) :) :)

Geronimo Shot Lasers At Me Today

Sidenote: WHEN do you capitalize short words in titles? Do you NEVER capitalize two-letter words? Do I not capitalize 'at' or 'me' in the title? Do I capitalize both? WHAT DO I DO!??!?!?

Back to the post:

So today I was supposed to go up to G's office when I got  to work so that we could go over the documents I wrote together. He wasn't there so I sent him an email telling him to let me know when he got there and I'd come up. Meanwhile, I did stuff.

He emailed mid-morning and I went up. We had three documents to go over. He skimmed through one because it was mostly cut and paste from the first document I wrote. Then we went to the next one, IPLANET.

I wrote out the rest of the story in picture form... which means I drew the rest of the story... :)

 

My eyes hurt.