You're In

So I had to get a drug test for a possible new job. When I was there, the person told me that typically, companies test your urine for five categories of drugs including marijuana, cocaine, amphetamines, and two others... Anyway, I had a great idea (per usual). Typically, the place will call you if your test is positive. Well, you know how some doctors send you nice little "reminder postcards" when you have an upcoming appointment?

I have a better idea: