Paranoi-uh????

Well, I thought it was just me getting older but I have noticed a heightened sense of paranoia on my part. I haven't gotten Grandma-bad, where if I lose something, the only reasonable explanation is that someone broke in and took the one, single thing I am missing and didn't take anything of real value. [But only because I don't lose things... yet...] But I have grown increasingly suspicious of EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD and their INABILITY TO DO ANYTHING.


As such, I've done squinty eyes towards the POST OFFICE.

Sorta like this:

Fuckin' post office... am I right?


Well anyway, my paranoia has been completely legitimate. And I'll tell you all about it. So firstly, I've grown leery of the post office simply because I don't trust them to do their job and get my VITAL MAILING to where it needs to go. And anything I send is vital. Well, it's true! [Both that everything I send is vital and that they won't do their job].

So, when I am in New York for Christmas, I get SO MANY awesome presents, and the airlines are COMPLETE D-BAGS so I end up having to mail presents home. Well, I had some boxes and so I packed up two boxes: one was full of scrapbooking things like scissors and markers and paper and it also had three books I got for Christmas in it. The other box had other stuff. Now, I'm not retardy - I know how to tape up a box to get it ready for to be mailed - AND since I'm all leery of them, I make sure its strong and sturdy. Now, despite my leeriness, I'm not gonna pay extra for THEM TO DO THEIR JOB and get "insurance" that they won't destroy my package that I have strongholded (strongheld?) with tape.

WELL, YOU GOT ME MR. POST OFFICE MAN!

Yep, this guy.

Well, the package that I sent from myself in NY to myself in CO, the one I described above, arrived to be in Colorado IN PIECES. Mainly, it was missing one side of the box, and there was... maybe a few markers in it. None of the books. And I hope there was nothing else important, otherwise, it's gone now! So THAT was awesome. I went to the Post Office here in Colorado and asked about it, if there was anything I could do... well no! Of course not! The lady did give me a number of a section at a different Post Office called the "Nixie" Section that houses items that fall out of packages [I bet it's just the back of some guy's truck... which he empties into his house...]. Well, I called at least once a day (sometimes twice) for a week and there was NEVER anyone in the section. NEAT. Oh well.

"Okay, so that is one incident during the holidays, blah blah blah," you say. WELL! Do I have news for you!?!?

No, but really, do I?














I do. 


















This past month has been "Send in Your Graduate Applications" Month. For the LOSER schools that don't accept online applications or where I need to send extra documents in PAPER-FORM, I get to spend $18 to ship the application next-day. So I went to the Post Office last Thursday, and I needed the package to get to Arkansas (I know, I know...) by Saturday. Now, for some reason they didn't have next-day service, but they had two-day service, and it was supposed to get to Arkansas by 3pm. HA!

Well, just have a look:

Now, I hope that Postman got overtime for the three-day journey he took between January 15th and January 18th.

I mean, really????

Now, this is JUST what I need. To have my paranoid delusions COME TRUE!

As such, I think it's just safe to say that ALL of my paranoid delusions are...

NOT DELUSIONS AT ALL.

DUM DUM DUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

[Yes, this includes my fantasies surrounding my relationships, Tahlia.]

Now I have to go the Post Office and get my $18 back. Seriously, I go there like every week.