I don't see what's so happy about it.
JK! It'll be great. But seriously...
Friday, December 31, 2010
Musings on a Year: 2010
Man, I'm cute.
Another year, another 365 dollars. (That's how that saying goes, right?)
Well, a lot happened this year. Just like every other year. I (FINALLY) graduated from college. Now MY FAMILY is ready for me to go to graduate school. Jerks. I interned at NASA over the summer. Now MY FAMILY is ready for them to hire me. Jerks. Da bod a dem. [IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. They don't pay enough, haHA!]
But enough about them. A lot of other stuff happened this year, I'm sure. I've tried to repress most of those memories.
I made a few friends this year, lost a few too. Unfortunately, if I were to sum the whole year up in a few words, it would be "The Year That Lots of People Stopped Talking to Becca." Oh yeah, it's gonna be one of THOSE posts... Now, don't get me wrong, tons of people I care about stop talking to me all the time. It's like a thing. But it seems for some weird reason, 2010 is the year that it really got on a roll. Sure, friends come and go... so do partners. Right. I GET IT. Trust me.
And yes, I'm not the best at keeping in contact, and sometimes friendships just dissolve. But that's not what I'm talking about here. What I am talking about here is people I really, really, really, really, really care about not talking to me anymore. And they stop talking to me out of the blue, when I think everything is fine, or at least okay, or even going really, really well. So of the seeming billions of people that stopped talking to me this year, there were (are?) four that really got (get?) to me.
The first happened as far back as last January. She was an ex, we had a troubled past, and really, how could I have not seen this? But at least she was kind enough to send me a "I can't talk to you anymore until I figure some shit out" text. Since I really should have known this was coming in the first place, I'm not as angry/confused about it as the other three. Still sucks though. Especially because I thought things were going well. I guess they weren't!
The second happened over the summer. I've tried to reason this one out too. Mainly, I blame having to move across the country for the summer to work at NASA. But... that excuse fails to appease my confusion as to what the heck happened. What the heck happened?
The third is the one that still eats at me. This person was the first true friend I made when I moved out to Colorado from NY almost five years ago. Sure, we didn't talk every day, but I considered this person one of my best friends, a friend that I would grow old with, no matter where either of us ended up. Unfortunately, something happened this past semester, and... we don't talk anymore. At all. And that isn't to say I haven't tried. But in this case, I'm not about to give up just yet. But I also can't fight forever.
As for the fourth, I have no comment. It's too soon. But... I can't say its unexpected.
Sorry for the emo post, people. I promise the next two will be... well, one is good, the other is UTTERLY DEVASTATING. So there's that to look forward to in 2011! Woooooo!!!!
Also, free bagels.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
FanFic
You will need a little backstory first: I read this webcomic Questionable Content, and it's about mid-twenties peeps and their lives. So here's the part you need to know about: The token nerd-has-never-had-a-boyfriend-plays-world-of-warcraft-etc is reading Harry Potter fanfic, wen the token lesbian comes in and is like... "actually, I wrote that." So token nerd swoons and they go get dinner to talk about fanfic. (It is important to note that token nerd doesn't realize token lesbian is a lesbian). So anyway, after dinner, token nerd is all "will you come to my house and read something I wrote?" and token lesbian is all "Oh FOR SURE." So then, the go back to token nerd's house, and the fanfic is... really bad. But token les is all "I'd still make out with you" which completely scares token nerd. And things get awkward. So token lesbian leaves, but then token nerd writes token lesbian a fanfic post. And the author of the comic actually wrote the post out. AND IT'S AMAZING. So I feel like if I ever wrote fanfic, my first shot would be something like this, but I would go into SO much more detail, if you know what I mean. But seriously. Mine would be so good... I might have to write one... But anyway, mine would at least have the sort of background story. HAHAHAHA
[MOM - THIS POST ISN'T FOR YOU]
So here it is for your reading pleasure: http://questionablecontent.net/spacewizards.html
And if you want to see the actual comic with it starting at the beginning of the nerd/les story, here it is, and it continues for seven comics.
[MOM - THIS POST ISN'T FOR YOU]
So here it is for your reading pleasure: http://questionablecontent.net/spacewizards.html
And if you want to see the actual comic with it starting at the beginning of the nerd/les story, here it is, and it continues for seven comics.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
(Re)Learnings of a Weekend
Things I learned (and re-learned) this weekend. In somewhat order:
Learnings:
1. Deno makes great beef stroganoff.
2. Chicago is a great movie.
3. I can sound like a (cute) duck when I snore.
4. I'm developing bad acne.
5. I have gray hair.
6. Swype is... okay...
Re-learnings:
1. Girls are impossible. (<-- this can't be italicized enough.)
2. It's great to not be arrogant (or to assert that you know something or are right when you (and everyone else) know(s) that you don't know something/are wrong).
3. Everyone is a little bit* gay.
4. I'd rather have the ability to make someone fall in love with me than be able to read minds.
5. Tahl's mom is a GREAT cook.
6. Plaid/flannel is the way to go.
7. I'm sleepy.
Main learning:
If this 'single' thing is going to work out, I need more cats.
*lot bit.
Learnings:
1. Deno makes great beef stroganoff.
2. Chicago is a great movie.
3. I can sound like a (cute) duck when I snore.
4. I'm developing bad acne.
5. I have gray hair.
6. Swype is... okay...
Re-learnings:
1. Girls are impossible. (<-- this can't be italicized enough.)
2. It's great to not be arrogant (or to assert that you know something or are right when you (and everyone else) know(s) that you don't know something/are wrong).
3. Everyone is a little bit* gay.
4. I'd rather have the ability to make someone fall in love with me than be able to read minds.
5. Tahl's mom is a GREAT cook.
6. Plaid/flannel is the way to go.
7. I'm sleepy.
Main learning:
If this 'single' thing is going to work out, I need more cats.
*lot bit.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
What's a Birthday Without....
CRAYON DRAWINGS?????
It isn't one.
So to make sure Tahlia's birthday existed, I made her a crayon-drawing card. FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE!
The envelope:
The card:
(Just tilt your head).
There was a fourth page... but... you wouldn't get it, so I'm... not gonna show it.
(Tilt your head again).
Do you know what it says? Do you need help? Too bad! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
The pomegranate I ariled:
It's much harder than it looks.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEVEN DAYS AGO TAHLIA!
It isn't one.
So to make sure Tahlia's birthday existed, I made her a crayon-drawing card. FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE!
The envelope:
The card:
There was a fourth page... but... you wouldn't get it, so I'm... not gonna show it.
(Tilt your head again).
Do you know what it says? Do you need help? Too bad! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
The pomegranate I ariled:
It's much harder than it looks.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEVEN DAYS AGO TAHLIA!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Becca Pilgrim
So if you haven't read The Inferno by Dante Alighieri, this post might not make a lot of sense to you. But if you hate Republicans, it will be hilarious!
The assignment for my "The Age of Dante" class was to write a canto (one of the chapters) where you are the pilgrim (traveler) through the Inferno (Hell). You could choose what "sin" was to be punished, and who would be your guide. I chose "Republicanism" as my sin. The numbers in parentheses are footnotes. Yes, I really did hand this in. Yes, with the picture and caption. Yes, I will let you know if I fail this assignment.
-------------------------
The assignment for my "The Age of Dante" class was to write a canto (one of the chapters) where you are the pilgrim (traveler) through the Inferno (Hell). You could choose what "sin" was to be punished, and who would be your guide. I chose "Republicanism" as my sin. The numbers in parentheses are footnotes. Yes, I really did hand this in. Yes, with the picture and caption. Yes, I will let you know if I fail this assignment.
-------------------------
O Reader! I tremble as the memory washes ashore again, for the depravity and ignorance of the coming souls makes me weak. But Lady Liberty I hold dear, and I fear not. For as the sleeping bear rouses himself at the end of hibernation and starves for sustenance, I, too, crave the knowledge that distinguishes us from those who cower before the ideals of Science.
Therefore, dear Reader, know that Justice holds true, as above, so below. And with this knowledge, I beg of you, be steadfast in your dedication to Truth lest you fall ill with the sickening depravity that clouds the mind.
As we approached the lower depths, my fear manifested itself outwardly, and my master(1), sensing this, grasped my hand, passing her strength to me, and I swooned. And she to me: “Be strong, child, as your suffering(2) has made you, and now is not the time for weakness. As your arguments are solid, these souls understand not the truth and exist in some other reality unknown to us(3).” With my teacher’s words, I gathered strength and remembered that anguish(4) that was not in vain.
Entering into the lowest bowels, I was blinded from the stench(5) and I raised my robe(6) to cover my face. Unfit with my sign of weakness, my master pulled the robe from my hands and glared at me as such that it penetrated the thick darkness between us. I flinched at her raised hand, but an ugly sound caused us both to turn our heads.
Words do not exist that can justly describe the horror of the beast before us and so I save you from repulsion. The lipsticked pig dared not let us pass, but my master, knower of all things knowable, held strong against the beast: “Palin! How is the view of Russia now? Our passage is willed on high, and if you feel these words insufficient may we present data that proves this beyond a doubt!” With the mere semblance of Fact(7), the pig oinked and grunted, indistinguishable from that of any low beast, and we passed.
And I: “Master, who are those that seem surrounded by the black fog? Do my eyes deceive or is the darkness greater there? And she to me: “Let us approach the soul there and you can ask what ails you.” As we neared the soul, the air grew dense(8) and my breath suffered. “Soul,” I coughed, “grant me your name and tell me what this fog is, and I shall remind the world of you.”
The soul spoke, raspy from the air, with a thick Texas accent: “I’m George W. Bush, of the White House Bushes. I’m certain this fog is the Black Smoke monster from Lost(9). I was the leader of an island, just like Jacob(10), the island of America, and the Black Smoke monster just won’t have it. And that’s why I’m here.”
And I to him: “Lost? The television show? And America isn’t an island(11).” My teacher understood my confusion and interjected: “In the underworld, the souls are granted knowledge and must speak only truth, but since these ones rejected truth while living, they must spend eternity without it also.” And I: “How is it then that this one answers my questions?” My master: “He answers as if what he knows were the truth. But if you have further questions, ask of him, and I may be able to correct his falsities.” And I to the soul: “Why didn’t you sign the Kyoto Protocol?” And the soul: “Ooh! Is that that new XBOX game? Hey, is the Black Smoke Monster making it hard for you to breathe too?”
Unsatisfied, I turned to my master. And she: “The fog that surrounds him is carbon dioxide, as he is forced to breathe the air which he himself required the world to breathe by not signing the Kyoto Protocol. But as is obvious, his knowledge remains limited as it were when he was living. He denied the proof of global warming, and thus is forced to experience its effects for eternity. But let us push on, as the sun is lower now.”
Grateful for the guidance my wise master bestowed to me, I hastened my steps so as not to anger her. She noticed my quickness and smiled at my reverence(12). Before exiting that place where Wisdom falters to gain recognition, I asked my master to point out the souls we passed so as to learn of the wretchedness committed and here I convey it. And my master: “Those two there forced to eat the excrement of cows are Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly(13); the crowd behind them, those associated with Fox News. And that group there, being impaled(14), are members of the Tea Party.”
(1) Rachel Maddow of MSNBC.
(2) School
(3) Non-Republicans
(4) Also, school
(5) It is widely known that Republicans house an odor most foul.
(6) Graduation gown.
(7) Science.
(8) Like the soul we are to meet.
(9) An amazing television show that once aired on ABC.
(10) A main character from Lost.
(11) The pilgrim's confusion stems from Bush's idiocy. Rachel Maddow, as guide, is able to lessen the pilgrim's confusion as seen later in the canto.
(12) The sexual tension between the pilgrim and Rachel Maddow is implicit.
(13) A fitting contrapasso where people who divulge bullshit are, themselves, forced to eat shit.
(14) The Tea Partiers are being impaled with their own protesting signs.
The canto is illustrated in this famous image by Becca di Guido. The image shows Rachel Maddow and the pilgrim in conversation with the soul George W. Bush, who is encompassed in “a black smoke.” Note the facial expressions of the three characters: Rachel Maddow acknowledges the soul’s misconceptions, while the pilgrim is confused by the soul’s words. The soul’s expression of joviality escapes his ignorance. Becca di Guido artistically captures the pilgrim’s renowned BearHat.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
I'm Not Your Post-Writing Slave
Why don't YOU write a blog post?
GD IT.
In other news, my mom says graduation is in 48 days. I'll believe it when I see it. Also, I don't have time to count down the days.
GD IT.
In other news, my mom says graduation is in 48 days. I'll believe it when I see it. Also, I don't have time to count down the days.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Carl.
So my friend Carla is pretty happy. A little too pretty happy, if you catch my drift. And it's like, all the time. What's her deal, man? I know, right?
Even when Carla is utterly and severely depressed (Point A), she's still happier than the rest of us.
So anyway, after we was all talkin' 'n shits today, I realized... WAIT A SECOND, Carla seems a little, also, 'not all there'... if you see where I'm going with this.
And where I'm going is to SCIENCE!
And by 'science,' I, of course, mean hilarious anecdotes.
So we was talking, and Carla asks,
"Why do people HAVE kids?"
A fair question I might ask. But also know, that this isn't(!) taken out of context. It's as much in context right now as it was when she asked it, trust me.
Still not convinced?
FINE.
So for not being a science major, Carla is pretty 'hip' with the science, if you know what I'm saying. Tahlia and I talk science at her and she smiles and nods, which means she gets it. But today was the first time that science may have eluded poor, little, overly happy Carla.
For example, are you sitting? Well then, you're less happy than you would be if you were standing!
And according to Carla, it's true because IT'S SCIENCE.
"Well anyone who's anyone knows that sitting and unhappiness have an 80% correlation," you say. WELL, FINE AGAIN.
But the last piece of [SCIENTIFIC] evidence I have is thusly:
I'll write it out for you. Tahlia was standing. Carla was kneeling [OH YEAHHHHH]. Carla went to give T-bear a hug. Carla is a freakish monstrosity of tall and so her head came right up to Tahlia's... (smaller) boob. Carla proceeded to nuzzle said boobie with her nose. FOR A WHILE.
If that doesn't prove that Carla is pretty fan-freaking awesome, I don't know what does.
I love italics.
Even when Carla is utterly and severely depressed (Point A), she's still happier than the rest of us.
So anyway, after we was all talkin' 'n shits today, I realized... WAIT A SECOND, Carla seems a little, also, 'not all there'... if you see where I'm going with this.
And where I'm going is to SCIENCE!
And by 'science,' I, of course, mean hilarious anecdotes.
So we was talking, and Carla asks,
"Why do people HAVE kids?"
A fair question I might ask. But also know, that this isn't(!) taken out of context. It's as much in context right now as it was when she asked it, trust me.
Still not convinced?
FINE.
So for not being a science major, Carla is pretty 'hip' with the science, if you know what I'm saying. Tahlia and I talk science at her and she smiles and nods, which means she gets it. But today was the first time that science may have eluded poor, little, overly happy Carla.
For example, are you sitting? Well then, you're less happy than you would be if you were standing!
And according to Carla, it's true because IT'S SCIENCE.
"Well anyone who's anyone knows that sitting and unhappiness have an 80% correlation," you say. WELL, FINE AGAIN.
But the last piece of [SCIENTIFIC] evidence I have is thusly:
I'll write it out for you. Tahlia was standing. Carla was kneeling [OH YEAHHHHH]. Carla went to give T-bear a hug. Carla is a freakish monstrosity of tall and so her head came right up to Tahlia's... (smaller) boob. Carla proceeded to nuzzle said boobie with her nose. FOR A WHILE.
If that doesn't prove that Carla is pretty fan-freaking awesome, I don't know what does.
I love italics.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Crayonoglyphics
If you don't appreciate crayon-note-drawing-pictographs, then you don't appreciate me.
I drew/wrote/created the following for Tahlia, for obvious reasons. [You may or may not have the opportunity to witness the 'crayon-note-that-started-it-all' when the semester ends. Did I say 'may not'? Don't worry, you will. But not yet, my young pups, not yet...]
I drew/wrote/created the following for Tahlia, for obvious reasons. [You may or may not have the opportunity to witness the 'crayon-note-that-started-it-all' when the semester ends. Did I say 'may not'? Don't worry, you will. But not yet, my young pups, not yet...]
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Monster
Monster Crushedness
Life Happiness
Insomnia Sleep
Physics GRE Any hope for the future
School My soul
Girls My heart
Reality My dreams
Global warming The polar ice caps
No italics What I'm really saying
This blog All other blogs, EVER
Inability to tab Straight columns
Republicans The long-term fate of the Earth
Insert your own!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
WTF LIFE????
Oh.
My.
God.
Life is like... COMPLETELY FUCKED UP IN THE HEAD. Just saying. Things are happening and I don't know what's going on and OMG. I really wish I could explain it to y'all, but I can't.
Like... I got this email... an important one. I ran outside to call someone and not five seconds before I am standing there, two cars get into a car crash behind me.
FUCKED, AM I RIGHT????
And all these other "weird" things happen to me ALL THE TIME.... Like the amount of homework I did this weekend - A LOT! YIKES! What is going on? Remember this summer where Emily and I were scared shitless because of how well the week was going? And we figured it was due to the coming Apocalypse?
WELL IT'S HERE NOW PEOPLE!
I'm scared. I *would* prefer if you'd hold me. DO IT. You know who you are.
Long story short, I will live the rest of my life shaking my head in disbelief at the UTTER MADNESS THAT CALLS ITSELF MY LIFE.
OH! *AND* to top today off, Deno also told me that you can now ITALICIZE in g-chat. How could you keep something like that from me, Life?!?!?!
Well, T-town believes that Karma is frick-fracking SCREAMING at me right now, but alas, neither of us can figure out the message. At least "life" will be eventful, right? Right?
My.
God.
Life is like... COMPLETELY FUCKED UP IN THE HEAD. Just saying. Things are happening and I don't know what's going on and OMG. I really wish I could explain it to y'all, but I can't.
Like... I got this email... an important one. I ran outside to call someone and not five seconds before I am standing there, two cars get into a car crash behind me.
FUCKED, AM I RIGHT????
And all these other "weird" things happen to me ALL THE TIME.... Like the amount of homework I did this weekend - A LOT! YIKES! What is going on? Remember this summer where Emily and I were scared shitless because of how well the week was going? And we figured it was due to the coming Apocalypse?
WELL IT'S HERE NOW PEOPLE!
I'm scared. I *would* prefer if you'd hold me. DO IT. You know who you are.
Long story short, I will live the rest of my life shaking my head in disbelief at the UTTER MADNESS THAT CALLS ITSELF MY LIFE.
OH! *AND* to top today off, Deno also told me that you can now ITALICIZE in g-chat. How could you keep something like that from me, Life?!?!?!
Well, T-town believes that Karma is frick-fracking SCREAMING at me right now, but alas, neither of us can figure out the message. At least "life" will be eventful, right? Right?
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
OH MAN
So many things!
But as the fates would have it, when I couldn't sleep at all last night, my internet didn't work. SERIES OF TUBES MY ASS. And to prove to you, as any true scientist would, that no sleep be had, I UTTER COMPLETE NONSENSE!
SEAMONKEYS! YOU FOUL CREATURES THAT BECKON FORTH WITH HASTE! YE NOT BETROTH TO THUS THE SQUID WHALES! I HEAR THEE!
So.
I will tell a few stories... IN TIME. But to tide you over until tonight's bout of insomnia, here are a few... insights.
1. EVERYTHING is absolutely hilarious with zero hours of sleep. Especially thermodynamics (proof to follow).
2. LAST NIGHT (this morning?), I faced certain and utter peril when I was mere inches from the beginnings of a transient-hobo-bum fight. Transient?! Hobo?! BUM?!? How could you bear the stench!? QUITE RIGHT! But as "Transient #2," as she so forth will be called, proceeded to NOT utter the safe word "pillar" (that ultimately would send me fleeing to safety behind a pillar), I was flung into death's grasp as none other than a human shield. Little did Transient #2 know that my own most powerful stench (pheromones, as I call them), amassing from pure fear, would send the assailants into a wild hallucination (reality?) where they must fight off the dinosaurs of Pearl Street (except the one watching the baby just dropped off). At which point, I rode the back of the good Triceratops to the safety of the sugarplum clouds atop the candy-cane forest (you know, the one by Unicorn Castle, across the way from Jeezy Creezy, Get Some Sleep?)
3. Italics are not used often enough.
4. "Utter." New favorite word?
5. PURE BLOG GOLD.
But as the fates would have it, when I couldn't sleep at all last night, my internet didn't work. SERIES OF TUBES MY ASS. And to prove to you, as any true scientist would, that no sleep be had, I UTTER COMPLETE NONSENSE!
SEAMONKEYS! YOU FOUL CREATURES THAT BECKON FORTH WITH HASTE! YE NOT BETROTH TO THUS THE SQUID WHALES! I HEAR THEE!
So.
I will tell a few stories... IN TIME. But to tide you over until tonight's bout of insomnia, here are a few... insights.
1. EVERYTHING is absolutely hilarious with zero hours of sleep. Especially thermodynamics (proof to follow).
2. LAST NIGHT (this morning?), I faced certain and utter peril when I was mere inches from the beginnings of a transient-hobo-bum fight. Transient?! Hobo?! BUM?!? How could you bear the stench!? QUITE RIGHT! But as "Transient #2," as she so forth will be called, proceeded to NOT utter the safe word "pillar" (that ultimately would send me fleeing to safety behind a pillar), I was flung into death's grasp as none other than a human shield. Little did Transient #2 know that my own most powerful stench (pheromones, as I call them), amassing from pure fear, would send the assailants into a wild hallucination (reality?) where they must fight off the dinosaurs of Pearl Street (except the one watching the baby just dropped off). At which point, I rode the back of the good Triceratops to the safety of the sugarplum clouds atop the candy-cane forest (you know, the one by Unicorn Castle, across the way from Jeezy Creezy, Get Some Sleep?)
3. Italics are not used often enough.
4. "Utter." New favorite word?
5. PURE BLOG GOLD.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
If There's More Than One Thing I'm Good At...
... one of the many, many [MANY] things is making dinosaur collages.
This August, I made the following, first of many, dinosaur collage for my friend:
Just tilt your head. I'm not your picture-rotating slave.
After seeing my magnificent, marvelous masterpiece, my friend Trisha wanted one as well. I had to make it smaller since I had to send it through the mail, but here it is (I made her two):
There is already a waiting list for dinosaur collages, but if you want one, let me know and I will add your name to the list depending on how much I like you.
This August, I made the following, first of many, dinosaur collage for my friend:
Just tilt your head. I'm not your picture-rotating slave.
MEAT CORNER:
After seeing my magnificent, marvelous masterpiece, my friend Trisha wanted one as well. I had to make it smaller since I had to send it through the mail, but here it is (I made her two):
There is already a waiting list for dinosaur collages, but if you want one, let me know and I will add your name to the list depending on how much I like you.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
TERRORfying
So I had a terror-fying dream two nights ago, and I'm going to tell you about. Then you can rest assured with solid proof that I am A CRAZY PERSON!!!! Woo!!
So the first part is the most terrifying. I will use [ ] to add notes in the present. Otherwise, it's all dream, baby.
Before I begin, I want to comment on the very beginning. It was like, I was in a deeper level of dreamstate (INCEPTION!) (of which I don't remember anything) and then I "woke up" into this dream. So I woke up and the dream was already occurring. Or maybe the "waking" was just the clicking on of my memory neurons? HMMM.... PONDER THAT.
Ok. Dream Time.
Part One:
I woke up and I was on a boat. [I had my flippy-floppies.] I was the only person on the boat, and I was supposed to be steering it, but I was a few feet back from the steering wheel so I ran up to it.
The boat was really tall and I couldn't see the water. But what I could see directly in front of me was Antarctica. Or what I thought was Antarctica. And I was terrified that I was going to crash directly into it, and so I was trying to steer. I ended up getting the boat parallel to the coast, and began boating next to it. I passed a sort of place where you could dock your boat, but not really.
I don't know if the ladder reached all the way down to the water. But the sign and the ladder were brown.
Antarctica wasn't very tall (the part of it above water) [but after thinking about it, I think it was my perspective from the boat]. Anyway, as I was driving the boat, I was thinking to myself, "What the hell??" as in, "why am I at Antarctica?", "why am I on a boat?" etc. And it became "known" to me [you know how that happens in dreams... omg... INCEPTION????!?!?!?!?] that I was trying to get somewhere on the other side of the world, and it was important, and that I was sailing around the world to get there. I remember thinking, "Well that's dumb! What if it gets all stormy 'n junk??" [Flying didn't seem to be an option, or I didn't think of it.]
Next, I was on land on Antarctica, but I was still driving my boat. And it was like a town, with numerous gas stations along the road, and I was still driving my boat, like a car. Also, everything was snow-covered, and mostly white [Duh, it's Antarctica.] In other dreams, whenever I am driving, I am never able to stop at red lights, and a red light was coming up, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to stop so I was trying to see if I could. I couldn't. But I did learn that I could slow down or speed up the boat by squeezing my legs together on this thing I was sitting on. And that was actually how I was driving the boat [You know those motorcycle video games that are in video arcades where you sit on a motorcycle and it can tilt back and forth? Well, the "steering column" was sort of like that, except it didn't tilt, but that was sort of how I was sitting on this thing... It's hard to explain.] So I ended up driving my boat through part of Antarctica.
End Part One
Thus concludes Part One. So what is terrifying you might ask?
1. Waking up to realize you are driving a GD boat that is going to crash into Antarctica.
2. Why am I on a boat? I am afraid of deep water and the thought of being out in the middle of the ocean near Antarctica sounds TERRORfying.
I wasn't as scared in the dream as how scared I thought I should have been. But thinking back on this also, I think that I just couldn't be scared because I had to take care of the situation.
Preface to Part Two
This part remains a little fuzzy, and so I'm just going to throw what I remember at you, and it may not even be in the right order... but I think it is.
Part Two
I am still driving my boat on roads, but it seems more like I am on some sort of interstate now. There is actually a fork in the highway coming up and one sign says, "Fairfax" and I don't remember what the other sign said. As I was driving, I kept trying to think if there was a Fairfax in Antarctica, because it didn't seem like there was, and I kept trying to figure out where I was. I ended up going on the Fairfax way, and soon the road turned into an actual highway road. But there were large ponds/lakes of water next to the highway, and I kept thinking, "I need to get on the water, I'm on a boat!" Then there was a sort of "rest area" but it was really messed up. It was more of a floating raft with astroturf on it. But apparently I jumped off my boat onto this raft, and I slid all the way to the edge, but I didn't fall off. Then I got up, and went inside a plexiglass-ed room, maybe the size of my family room. There were tons of people in there, and they were all watching the news which was on a TV. There was apparently a McDonald's attached to it on the other side, but there was an actual half-wall closing off the tv room from the McDonald's. But I did notice that the other room had that kind of gross McDonald's tile you see. Anyway, I tried to stand out of the way while I checked my phone to see where I was. But this guy kept backing into me and I couldn't move anywhere and I thought the guy was a jerk. Anyway, I used the GPS on my phone, and it told me I was in Connecticut. And I was like, "Oh, Fairfax, Connecticut, okay." And my phoneGPS also mapped where I had been and so what I had thought was Antarctica was actually the cape part of Massachusetts that was frozen because it was winter [The cape part actually looked much bigger and longer, like that part of Alaska.] So the GPS mapped where I had been and then I used it to find out how I could get back to the ocean because I had places to be. And there were highways [boatways?] in Connecticut I could take, but none went straight through the state, they only went around the outside. [If I could draw better, I'd draw it for you... BUT I CAN'T SO DEAL.]
So I was like, "Alright" and was going to head back to my boat. Before I was able to leave though, someone made an announcement that due to something, I would have to take a bunch of people on my boat with me. I was like, "Ok." So jump to we are all on my boat. Now the "highway" was a sort of boatway, where it was sort of like a high-walled canal. I was sitting in the inside of the boat, and someone else was driving. I was trying to count all the people because my boat had the problem that if it was unbalanced (too many people on one side), it would tip over. But everyone kept walking around so I couldn't count. I got mad and was like, "Fine. I don't care!" But after I said that I was like, "Wait, I have to care, the boat will tip over! UGH." I think I went outside then.
[I remember three other parts from Part Two, but I don't really know where they fit in.]
At one point, I saw a "people lane" in the canal. [Sort of like a bike lane on a road, but there was a wall between it and the boat lane.] There were people of all ages, and they seemed to be riding waterslides, but the slides weren't made of plastic, they were made of water. So, there was a 'top' and it was a very not-steep slope, and there would be a jet of water that would push the people down the actual slide of water. Seeing this made me less scared of the depth [AND DESTRUCTION] of the water that lay under the boat. Also, someone noticed that the boatway was only 7 feet deep (from a sign on the wall like at a pool) and commented that "they could do 7 feet" and I thought to myself that I could do.
At another point, the boat flipped over and flooded and there were people caught inside the inside part. At this point, I was sort of watching things happen, and I was also sort of a giant, and so I was able to open the door (which wasn't a door) to the inside part. (The door was more of a slide-down window of sorts...). And so I reached in, and grabbed people one by one and hung them over the wall. And then I was like, "Wait! There might be people in the inner inside!" [Whatever that means]. And it was sort of like the basement of the boat, and I took something out and there were two little girls. So I pulled the girls out and one was Asian and one was white, and they were about the size of my hand. And so, there was some guy next to me with a digital camera and I gave him the Asian [I'm so racist!], but he didn't put down the camera. I had the white girl laying on my hand on her back, and I was pressing on her chest with one finger, expelling water. I yelled again at the camera guy because the Asian was just laying dead on the wall, but there was nothing I could do. Then suddenly I had some sort of toy heart monitor that just had a series of glowing hearts and from it I could tell that the white girl was alive. [That's all I remember from that part, I don't know what happened to the Asian.]
Finally, at another point, I was on the inside of the boat and the ghost of the actual captain/owner of the boat (previous owner, I guess) was haunting us. [I am guessing this took place after the flooding of the boat because I think we were saying it was caused because the captain was mad.] Anyway, the ghost of the captain was actually invisible, not ghost-invisible, but completely invisible. I was going to open the door to go outside, but people yelled at me not to do that because I'd let the ghost-captain in. (The door was sort of like a sliding door on a minivan). And at this point, I had already opened the door, and now was trying to close it, and the ghost captain was fighting me, trying to open the door. [I don't remember who won :( ].
Preface to Part Three
OMG THIS IS THE LONGEST DREAM EVERRRRRRR. I'm almost done. This is the last part, and it doesn't really have any tie-in to the previous two parts, except maybe that there's some ghost-like thing. Um... yeah. Also, in this dream, I begin watching the scene, and then I take part...
Part Three
I am at a friend's condo, and it is similar to my Gram's condo in Florida in that the back wall is all windows and there's a sliding glass door in the middle that goes to her backyard and there is a pool in the backyard. My friend (long dark hair, tall-ish, wearing jeans) hears something (I didn't) and goes to check on her son in his room. She goes in there and he's not in bed but he also has a door to the backyard and he went out there to sit in a chair. [I think he had arm floaties on at this point, or was carrying a towel or something]. I remember thinking I was a bit worried that this little kid was out at the pool at night alone (he looked maybe 6 or 7) but my friend wasn't worried so I was like, whatevs. So we were sitting in her living room, looking out at the pool, sort of just watching her son I guess.
Then there were multiple of her son and one jumped in the pool. Also, there were apparently these green and red glowing dots, and both were bad. The dots were about the size of my hand and could inhabit things by glowing on them. But we were only looking for a green dot. So my friend and I were then scrounging through things on the floor to find these dots because they wanted her son (or something). And so I was looking through newspaper and other small things on the floor. Also, the dots could only jump from one thing to another if they were touching. And then I realized that her son was sitting on the floor, and so I said the dot was on him. (At this point, her son was maybe 2 years old). So then I picked up her son and put him on my lap and was looking all over him for these glowing things, but I couldn't find one.
Then there were two of her son, and I had a gun. I was supposed to kill the bad one, but we didn't know which one was bad. I remember thinking, "Well, I could just kill both." [<-- OMG!!! And that's all I remember.]
MESSED THE EFF UP, RIGHT?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!
Dream Dictionary:
Boat
To dream that you are in or see a boat, signifies your ability to cope with and express your emotions. Pay particular attention to the condition and state of the waters, whether it is calm or violent, clear or murky, etc. Are you "smooth sailing"? Alternatively, you may be ready to confront your unconscious and unknown aspects of yourself. The dream could be telling you not to rock the boat and to stay out of harm's way.
Antarctica
To dream that you are in Antarctica, represents the challenges and hardships in your waking life and your ability to endure it all.
Water
To see water in your dream, symbolizes your unconscious and your emotional state of mind. Water is the living essence of the psyche and the flow of life energy. It is also symbolic of spirituality, knowledge, healing and refreshment. To dream that water is boiling, suggests that you are expressing some emotional turmoil. Feelings from your unconscious are surfacing and ready to be acknowledged.�You need to let out some steam.�To see calm, clear water in your dream, means that you are in tune with your spirituality. It denotes serenity, peace of mind, and rejuvenation. To see muddy or dirty water in your dream, indicates that you are wallowing in your negative emotions. You may need to take some time to cleanse your mind and find internal peace. Alternatively, the dream suggests that your thinking/judgment is unclear and clouded. If you are immersed in muddy water, then it indicates that you are in over your head in a situation and are overwhelmed by your emotions.
Waterslide
To dream that you are on or see a waterslide, suggests that you are being carried away by your emotions. You are being engulfed by your unconscious. Alternatively, the dream indicates that you are going with the flow of things without any objection or resistance.�
Green
Green signifies a positive change, good health, growth, fertility, healing, hope, vigor, vitality, peace, and serenity. The appearance of the color may also be a way of telling you to "go ahead". Alternatively, green is a metaphor for a lack of experience in some task.�
Red
Red is an indication of raw energy, force, vigor, intense passion, aggression, power, courage, impulsiveness and passion.�The color red has deep emotional and spiritual connotations. Consider the phrase "seeing red" to denote anger. Alternatively, the color red in your dream indicates a lack of energy. You are feeling tired or lethargic.
HA! PENIS. KNEW IT.
So the first part is the most terrifying. I will use [ ] to add notes in the present. Otherwise, it's all dream, baby.
Before I begin, I want to comment on the very beginning. It was like, I was in a deeper level of dreamstate (INCEPTION!) (of which I don't remember anything) and then I "woke up" into this dream. So I woke up and the dream was already occurring. Or maybe the "waking" was just the clicking on of my memory neurons? HMMM.... PONDER THAT.
Ok. Dream Time.
Part One:
I woke up and I was on a boat. [I had my flippy-floppies.] I was the only person on the boat, and I was supposed to be steering it, but I was a few feet back from the steering wheel so I ran up to it.
The boat was really tall and I couldn't see the water. But what I could see directly in front of me was Antarctica. Or what I thought was Antarctica. And I was terrified that I was going to crash directly into it, and so I was trying to steer. I ended up getting the boat parallel to the coast, and began boating next to it. I passed a sort of place where you could dock your boat, but not really.
I don't know if the ladder reached all the way down to the water. But the sign and the ladder were brown.
Antarctica wasn't very tall (the part of it above water) [but after thinking about it, I think it was my perspective from the boat]. Anyway, as I was driving the boat, I was thinking to myself, "What the hell??" as in, "why am I at Antarctica?", "why am I on a boat?" etc. And it became "known" to me [you know how that happens in dreams... omg... INCEPTION????!?!?!?!?] that I was trying to get somewhere on the other side of the world, and it was important, and that I was sailing around the world to get there. I remember thinking, "Well that's dumb! What if it gets all stormy 'n junk??" [Flying didn't seem to be an option, or I didn't think of it.]
Next, I was on land on Antarctica, but I was still driving my boat. And it was like a town, with numerous gas stations along the road, and I was still driving my boat, like a car. Also, everything was snow-covered, and mostly white [Duh, it's Antarctica.] In other dreams, whenever I am driving, I am never able to stop at red lights, and a red light was coming up, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to stop so I was trying to see if I could. I couldn't. But I did learn that I could slow down or speed up the boat by squeezing my legs together on this thing I was sitting on. And that was actually how I was driving the boat [You know those motorcycle video games that are in video arcades where you sit on a motorcycle and it can tilt back and forth? Well, the "steering column" was sort of like that, except it didn't tilt, but that was sort of how I was sitting on this thing... It's hard to explain.] So I ended up driving my boat through part of Antarctica.
End Part One
Thus concludes Part One. So what is terrifying you might ask?
1. Waking up to realize you are driving a GD boat that is going to crash into Antarctica.
2. Why am I on a boat? I am afraid of deep water and the thought of being out in the middle of the ocean near Antarctica sounds TERRORfying.
I wasn't as scared in the dream as how scared I thought I should have been. But thinking back on this also, I think that I just couldn't be scared because I had to take care of the situation.
Preface to Part Two
This part remains a little fuzzy, and so I'm just going to throw what I remember at you, and it may not even be in the right order... but I think it is.
Part Two
I am still driving my boat on roads, but it seems more like I am on some sort of interstate now. There is actually a fork in the highway coming up and one sign says, "Fairfax" and I don't remember what the other sign said. As I was driving, I kept trying to think if there was a Fairfax in Antarctica, because it didn't seem like there was, and I kept trying to figure out where I was. I ended up going on the Fairfax way, and soon the road turned into an actual highway road. But there were large ponds/lakes of water next to the highway, and I kept thinking, "I need to get on the water, I'm on a boat!" Then there was a sort of "rest area" but it was really messed up. It was more of a floating raft with astroturf on it. But apparently I jumped off my boat onto this raft, and I slid all the way to the edge, but I didn't fall off. Then I got up, and went inside a plexiglass-ed room, maybe the size of my family room. There were tons of people in there, and they were all watching the news which was on a TV. There was apparently a McDonald's attached to it on the other side, but there was an actual half-wall closing off the tv room from the McDonald's. But I did notice that the other room had that kind of gross McDonald's tile you see. Anyway, I tried to stand out of the way while I checked my phone to see where I was. But this guy kept backing into me and I couldn't move anywhere and I thought the guy was a jerk. Anyway, I used the GPS on my phone, and it told me I was in Connecticut. And I was like, "Oh, Fairfax, Connecticut, okay." And my phoneGPS also mapped where I had been and so what I had thought was Antarctica was actually the cape part of Massachusetts that was frozen because it was winter [The cape part actually looked much bigger and longer, like that part of Alaska.] So the GPS mapped where I had been and then I used it to find out how I could get back to the ocean because I had places to be. And there were highways [boatways?] in Connecticut I could take, but none went straight through the state, they only went around the outside. [If I could draw better, I'd draw it for you... BUT I CAN'T SO DEAL.]
So I was like, "Alright" and was going to head back to my boat. Before I was able to leave though, someone made an announcement that due to something, I would have to take a bunch of people on my boat with me. I was like, "Ok." So jump to we are all on my boat. Now the "highway" was a sort of boatway, where it was sort of like a high-walled canal. I was sitting in the inside of the boat, and someone else was driving. I was trying to count all the people because my boat had the problem that if it was unbalanced (too many people on one side), it would tip over. But everyone kept walking around so I couldn't count. I got mad and was like, "Fine. I don't care!" But after I said that I was like, "Wait, I have to care, the boat will tip over! UGH." I think I went outside then.
[I remember three other parts from Part Two, but I don't really know where they fit in.]
At one point, I saw a "people lane" in the canal. [Sort of like a bike lane on a road, but there was a wall between it and the boat lane.] There were people of all ages, and they seemed to be riding waterslides, but the slides weren't made of plastic, they were made of water. So, there was a 'top' and it was a very not-steep slope, and there would be a jet of water that would push the people down the actual slide of water. Seeing this made me less scared of the depth [AND DESTRUCTION] of the water that lay under the boat. Also, someone noticed that the boatway was only 7 feet deep (from a sign on the wall like at a pool) and commented that "they could do 7 feet" and I thought to myself that I could do.
At another point, the boat flipped over and flooded and there were people caught inside the inside part. At this point, I was sort of watching things happen, and I was also sort of a giant, and so I was able to open the door (which wasn't a door) to the inside part. (The door was more of a slide-down window of sorts...). And so I reached in, and grabbed people one by one and hung them over the wall. And then I was like, "Wait! There might be people in the inner inside!" [Whatever that means]. And it was sort of like the basement of the boat, and I took something out and there were two little girls. So I pulled the girls out and one was Asian and one was white, and they were about the size of my hand. And so, there was some guy next to me with a digital camera and I gave him the Asian [I'm so racist!], but he didn't put down the camera. I had the white girl laying on my hand on her back, and I was pressing on her chest with one finger, expelling water. I yelled again at the camera guy because the Asian was just laying dead on the wall, but there was nothing I could do. Then suddenly I had some sort of toy heart monitor that just had a series of glowing hearts and from it I could tell that the white girl was alive. [That's all I remember from that part, I don't know what happened to the Asian.]
Finally, at another point, I was on the inside of the boat and the ghost of the actual captain/owner of the boat (previous owner, I guess) was haunting us. [I am guessing this took place after the flooding of the boat because I think we were saying it was caused because the captain was mad.] Anyway, the ghost of the captain was actually invisible, not ghost-invisible, but completely invisible. I was going to open the door to go outside, but people yelled at me not to do that because I'd let the ghost-captain in. (The door was sort of like a sliding door on a minivan). And at this point, I had already opened the door, and now was trying to close it, and the ghost captain was fighting me, trying to open the door. [I don't remember who won :( ].
Preface to Part Three
OMG THIS IS THE LONGEST DREAM EVERRRRRRR. I'm almost done. This is the last part, and it doesn't really have any tie-in to the previous two parts, except maybe that there's some ghost-like thing. Um... yeah. Also, in this dream, I begin watching the scene, and then I take part...
Part Three
I am at a friend's condo, and it is similar to my Gram's condo in Florida in that the back wall is all windows and there's a sliding glass door in the middle that goes to her backyard and there is a pool in the backyard. My friend (long dark hair, tall-ish, wearing jeans) hears something (I didn't) and goes to check on her son in his room. She goes in there and he's not in bed but he also has a door to the backyard and he went out there to sit in a chair. [I think he had arm floaties on at this point, or was carrying a towel or something]. I remember thinking I was a bit worried that this little kid was out at the pool at night alone (he looked maybe 6 or 7) but my friend wasn't worried so I was like, whatevs. So we were sitting in her living room, looking out at the pool, sort of just watching her son I guess.
Then there were multiple of her son and one jumped in the pool. Also, there were apparently these green and red glowing dots, and both were bad. The dots were about the size of my hand and could inhabit things by glowing on them. But we were only looking for a green dot. So my friend and I were then scrounging through things on the floor to find these dots because they wanted her son (or something). And so I was looking through newspaper and other small things on the floor. Also, the dots could only jump from one thing to another if they were touching. And then I realized that her son was sitting on the floor, and so I said the dot was on him. (At this point, her son was maybe 2 years old). So then I picked up her son and put him on my lap and was looking all over him for these glowing things, but I couldn't find one.
Then there were two of her son, and I had a gun. I was supposed to kill the bad one, but we didn't know which one was bad. I remember thinking, "Well, I could just kill both." [<-- OMG!!! And that's all I remember.]
MESSED THE EFF UP, RIGHT?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!
Dream Dictionary:
Boat
To dream that you are in or see a boat, signifies your ability to cope with and express your emotions. Pay particular attention to the condition and state of the waters, whether it is calm or violent, clear or murky, etc. Are you "smooth sailing"? Alternatively, you may be ready to confront your unconscious and unknown aspects of yourself. The dream could be telling you not to rock the boat and to stay out of harm's way.
To dream that you are trying to jump off a boat, suggests that you want to confront those difficult emotions and approach your problems head on.
Antarctica
To dream that you are in Antarctica, represents the challenges and hardships in your waking life and your ability to endure it all.
Water
To see water in your dream, symbolizes your unconscious and your emotional state of mind. Water is the living essence of the psyche and the flow of life energy. It is also symbolic of spirituality, knowledge, healing and refreshment. To dream that water is boiling, suggests that you are expressing some emotional turmoil. Feelings from your unconscious are surfacing and ready to be acknowledged.�You need to let out some steam.�To see calm, clear water in your dream, means that you are in tune with your spirituality. It denotes serenity, peace of mind, and rejuvenation. To see muddy or dirty water in your dream, indicates that you are wallowing in your negative emotions. You may need to take some time to cleanse your mind and find internal peace. Alternatively, the dream suggests that your thinking/judgment is unclear and clouded. If you are immersed in muddy water, then it indicates that you are in over your head in a situation and are overwhelmed by your emotions.
Waterslide
To dream that you are on or see a waterslide, suggests that you are being carried away by your emotions. You are being engulfed by your unconscious. Alternatively, the dream indicates that you are going with the flow of things without any objection or resistance.�
Green
Green signifies a positive change, good health, growth, fertility, healing, hope, vigor, vitality, peace, and serenity. The appearance of the color may also be a way of telling you to "go ahead". Alternatively, green is a metaphor for a lack of experience in some task.�
Red
Red is an indication of raw energy, force, vigor, intense passion, aggression, power, courage, impulsiveness and passion.�The color red has deep emotional and spiritual connotations. Consider the phrase "seeing red" to denote anger. Alternatively, the color red in your dream indicates a lack of energy. You are feeling tired or lethargic.
Red is also the color of danger, violence, blood, shame, rejection, sexual impulses and urges.�Perhaps you need to stop and think about your actions.
Gun
To see a gun in your dream, symbolizes aggression, anger, and potential danger. You may be dealing with issues of passiveness/aggressiveness and authority/dependence. Alternatively, a gun represents the penis and male sexual drive. Thus, the gun may mean power or impotence, depending on whether the gun went off or misfired.
To see a gun in your dream, symbolizes aggression, anger, and potential danger. You may be dealing with issues of passiveness/aggressiveness and authority/dependence. Alternatively, a gun represents the penis and male sexual drive. Thus, the gun may mean power or impotence, depending on whether the gun went off or misfired.
HA! PENIS. KNEW IT.
Monday, September 6, 2010
H2Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh God Yeah.
I don't know what kind of sacrificial magic happens in that there filter... but GODDAMN I like it.
[Sidenote: I'M scared. Remember when I used to love pop? DO YOU REMEMBER???? NEVER FORGET! NEVERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Friday, September 3, 2010
It's.... Time You Knew....
You are all my dear, loyal friends, and I can't bear to keep this secret from you any longer...
I'm....
...IN LOVE!!!!!!!!!
I sincerely hope that all of you find a love like I have... :) :) :)
I'm....
...IN LOVE!!!!!!!!!
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Her name is Rachel, and we have only known each other a few months at this point... but, I mean, when it's love, it's love, right?
And I know this breaks many of your hearts, but you all can't help being in love with me, due to my with words, and so, I won't hold it against you (my body, that is).
Anyway, here are a few pictures of my life partner and I:
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I sincerely hope that all of you find a love like I have... :) :) :)
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Have We Met?
So it's the near future and I've just discovered life on another planet and the life is DINOSAURS! I'm at a national meeting of distinguished colleagues and I'm about to announce the name of the planet (Jurassic Planet), as well as be handed every possible Nobel award possible. Before I get all my awards, I provide a brief summary of my AMAZING results to the crowd, and I as say, "... so as you can see, we have directly imaged an "alien t-rex" eating an "alien galliminus", and the leaves on the trees are green which indicates the presence of chlorophyll..." When someone (you) pipes up from the crowd, clad in white lab coat, and say, "MORE LIKE BOROPHYLL." A hush falls over the room as I turn towards you and you stand up in the crowd. I slowly lower my glasses and ask, "What did you say?" You take a step closer and say, "I SAID, 'More like BORE-ophyll." I wipe my glasses on MY lab coat, and put them back on. "That's what I thought you said." The crowd turns from you to me to you to me. During our conversation, you slowly walk from the back of the crowded lecture hall towards the front stage, where I am standing. You say, "Dinosaurs? Pfft... Big whoop? Wanna fight about it?" At this point, you are within feet of the stage, and I'm standing at the edge. In response, I say, "I'LL SHOW YOU DINOSAURS!" And then I jump from the stage and tackle you to the ground. We both get up and into our "dino-stances" and beginning rawr-ing and clawing at the ground with our "dino-feet." As we circle each other, the crowd encircles us in a sort of cage-match. Long story short, we both bought the other a new, monogrammed lab coat. The end.
Monday, August 30, 2010
A List!
WHO DOESN'T LOVE LISTS??!???!?!
(*If you don't love lists - creating them, crossing things off them, re-creating them - then you can just GET OUT.)
But also, who doesn't love MAKING EXCEL GRAPHS??!?!?!
AM I RIGHT, PEOPLE????
As such, I've got a splendid idea! As many (all) of you know, I am applying to graduate schools this fall. Today I spent ALL GD DAY making a sweet spreadsheet of schools, people to contact, admissions deadlines and other GREAT things. As I delve deeper into the trenches of "no one will accept me!!!"-itis, my preferences for which schools to attend have changed. I figure I can make some sort of sweet graph at the end of how my preferences have progressed, and then make a killer "no one accepted me" pie chart at the end! EVERYONE WINS!
So, as of now, I am just going to state some statings:
Early August:
1. Penn State
2. Arizona State
3. Uni. of Arizona
4. Cornell
5. Uni. of Washington
Others: CU, UC Santa Cruz, Boston University, Uni. of Central Florida
August 30th:
1. Harvard
2. Penn State
3. Uni. of Arizona
4. Uni. of Washington
5. Arizona State
6. Cornell
(*If you don't love lists - creating them, crossing things off them, re-creating them - then you can just GET OUT.)
But also, who doesn't love MAKING EXCEL GRAPHS??!?!?!
AM I RIGHT, PEOPLE????
As such, I've got a splendid idea! As many (all) of you know, I am applying to graduate schools this fall. Today I spent ALL GD DAY making a sweet spreadsheet of schools, people to contact, admissions deadlines and other GREAT things. As I delve deeper into the trenches of "no one will accept me!!!"-itis, my preferences for which schools to attend have changed. I figure I can make some sort of sweet graph at the end of how my preferences have progressed, and then make a killer "no one accepted me" pie chart at the end! EVERYONE WINS!
So, as of now, I am just going to state some statings:
Early August:
1. Penn State
2. Arizona State
3. Uni. of Arizona
4. Cornell
5. Uni. of Washington
Others: CU, UC Santa Cruz, Boston University, Uni. of Central Florida
August 30th:
1. Harvard
2. Penn State
3. Uni. of Arizona
4. Uni. of Washington
5. Arizona State
6. Cornell
Friday, August 27, 2010
Emily's Dream
Remember when Emily and I were friends???? I sure don't.
But when we were friends, she had this SCARY (!!) dream where I HATED HER (note: not a dream). It's pretty interesting if you think about it, so while we were still confined to the same, disgusting 10' by 10' pit of despair UM calls "dorms" I had her write it down. Here it is for your reading and contemplating pleasure.
Oh, we also dream-dictionary-looked-up some of the meanings of the things in there, and I have included it for you.
El Dreamo (written by Emily, talking to me):
After reading the symbols that follow, I think this dream is more about me, than it is about you.
And to Emily's last comment I say... WHATEVER! :) [Emily having a dream that is about HER and not about ME??? INCONCEIVABLE]
But here are the symbols that follow that she is talking about:
Interesting! :)
But when we were friends, she had this SCARY (!!) dream where I HATED HER (note: not a dream). It's pretty interesting if you think about it, so while we were still confined to the same, disgusting 10' by 10' pit of despair UM calls "dorms" I had her write it down. Here it is for your reading and contemplating pleasure.
Oh, we also dream-dictionary-looked-up some of the meanings of the things in there, and I have included it for you.
El Dreamo (written by Emily, talking to me):
so I had this dream and it was like...
We lived in the dorm, and you and i were best friends, and we all did something touristy and you brought back all these fish tanks. Each one had two gold fish in them; one represented you, and the other was someone you were in a relationship with. Well, you had this pewter lucky charm that you put in our tank because you loved me and it made sense, but it poisoned the fishes, and then.... I was an outcast. You were quite suddenly best friends with Iva (weird), and I was a jerk/nobody. It was upsetting. The fishes didn't represent your relationships, but instead had some control over them. Which was unexpected.
And to Emily's last comment I say... WHATEVER! :) [Emily having a dream that is about HER and not about ME??? INCONCEIVABLE]
But here are the symbols that follow that she is talking about:
Goldfish
To see a goldfish in your dream, signifies, wealth, success, and pleasant adventures. Alternatively, goldfish represents some important emotional matter or valuable insight.
Pairs
To see a pair of something in your dream, represents the need for balance in your life. The pair may be symbolic of your life partner or soul mate.
To see items made of pewter in your dream, suggests that you are holding on to the past. Your ways of thinking may be outdated.
To dream about your waking relationships, indicate wish-fulfillment. Your dream relationship usually parallels your waking relationships in some way and may be highlighting something that you are doing wrong. In your dream state, you may be more incline to confront issues that you would normally ignore or are afraid of bringing up. Compare your dream relationship with your waking relationship.
To dream about a relationship with a stranger, represents the different sides of your personality. You may be trying to connect to unknown aspects of your unconscious.
Lucky Charm
To dream of a lucky charm, indicates that you are trying to connect with your spiritual energy. The dream may be telling you that you are putting too much faith on outside sources. You need to look within.
Poison
To see poison in your dream, denotes that you need to get rid of something in your life that is causing you much sickness and distress. You need to cleanse and purge away the negativity in your life.
To dream that you ingest poison, indicates that you are introducing something into yourself that is harmful to your well-being. This may be feelings of bitterness, jealousy or other negative feelings that are consuming you.
Lead
To see lead in your dream, indicates that there is a problem or issue that is burdening you. Perhaps a relationship or some guilt is weighing you down.
Interesting! :)
If...
If this was a REAL BLOG in REAL BLOGLAND with REAL BLOGFOLLOWERS...
You would all be storming the castle (my house?) thinking I was DEAD or something (!!!) for how long it has been since I posted.
But since this is FAR from a REAL BLOG, and the only way I get peepses to read my blog is to hold them at knifepoint (EMILY), then... ipso facto, I'm not dead.
LUCKY YOU.
Long story short, I'll post a post. :)
You would all be storming the castle (my house?) thinking I was DEAD or something (!!!) for how long it has been since I posted.
But since this is FAR from a REAL BLOG, and the only way I get peepses to read my blog is to hold them at knifepoint (EMILY), then... ipso facto, I'm not dead.
LUCKY YOU.
Long story short, I'll post a post. :)
Sunday, August 15, 2010
OMG TEN DAYS?!?!!!!!??!?!?
It's been TEN DAYS since my last post??!?!?!?
OH MY GOD.
Well, I'm too drive-tired to get Gus Gus up to write a post now. HOME TOMORROW!!!! :)
OH MY GOD.
Well, I'm too drive-tired to get Gus Gus up to write a post now. HOME TOMORROW!!!! :)
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Sperm Gets Pounded, Specialist Says
So I was reading some articles from Discover Magazine online today, and I started reading an article about how one of the genes for sperm is 600 million years old. The article is very short, but about halfway through, there is a quote from Eugene Xu, the team leader on the discovery. I would just like to share the first sentence of his quote with you:
“It’s really surprising because sperm production gets pounded by natural selection,” Xu said.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
The article is here.
“It’s really surprising because sperm production gets pounded by natural selection,” Xu said.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
The article is here.
Phone Talkin' - Part Two, Answering
As I mentioned in the first part, and as some of you might have experienced, I'm super-awkward on the phone. And I'm going to blame the entire resulting conversation on the first five seconds on the phone.
If you call me:
How the BALLS do I answer? With caller id now, I find it superweird picking up the phone and saying, "Hello?" like I don't know who it is! BECAUSE I DO. Every-gd-time I answer the phone, I struggle with this. I usually resort to, "Hey, what's up?" BUT I HATE IT. It's so LAAAAAAMMMMMEEEEEE. Sometimes, if I am expecting your call, I just start talking, but that is weird too. For a tiny bit I tried saying, "Ahoy-hoy" like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons but people didn't understand what I was saying and that caused problems in itself.
So now I'm back to thinking of possible solutions. Here are some things I came up with:
- just making a loud, clearing-my-throat sound (this will be *great* when I'm an old person).
- yelling something in an awkward way like, "OH HI!" or "I'M SO GLAD YOU CALLED" (this serves to remove the unintentional awkward of answering the phone by intentionally answering the phone awkwardly)
- just saying, "Becca." But ultimately, I'd add a hint (read: complete) of inflection at the end so it would sound like a question and the person on the other end will be like, "No, this is Tahlia. You are Becca." Then I would just keep saying, "Becca" because it would be funny. "Yes, you Becca." "Becca." "Stop it." "Becca." "Ugh, I don't even care anymore. Bye." "Becca."
- I could just say, "Hello" without the inflection... BUT THAT'S NO FUN!
So I am welcome to any suggestions.
If I call you:
If I am calling you because I have a question, then there is no problem, because once you answer, I wil just say hey and then start in on my question.
But if I am returning your call, I always resort to the lame "Hey, what's up?" See how lame that reads? It sounds just as lame. But unfortunately, I can't think of any clever way around this one :( Hmm... well, I could always start in on the Beastie Boys song: "Whatcha whatcha whatcha want (whatcha want) I said, whatcha whatcha whatcha want?" Hmm... I sort of like it!
And if I get the "why are you calling me?" response, there's always some good ol' Stevie Wonder: "I just called, to say, I love you... I just called to say how much I care... I just called, to say, I love you..." Priceless.
So that's my part on answering the phone. But you know what's great? This is also not the reason I started a phone post... And what's even greater is that I have completely forgotten what that reason is... so there may or may not be a third installment.
If you call me:
How the BALLS do I answer? With caller id now, I find it superweird picking up the phone and saying, "Hello?" like I don't know who it is! BECAUSE I DO. Every-gd-time I answer the phone, I struggle with this. I usually resort to, "Hey, what's up?" BUT I HATE IT. It's so LAAAAAAMMMMMEEEEEE. Sometimes, if I am expecting your call, I just start talking, but that is weird too. For a tiny bit I tried saying, "Ahoy-hoy" like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons but people didn't understand what I was saying and that caused problems in itself.
So now I'm back to thinking of possible solutions. Here are some things I came up with:
- just making a loud, clearing-my-throat sound (this will be *great* when I'm an old person).
- yelling something in an awkward way like, "OH HI!" or "I'M SO GLAD YOU CALLED" (this serves to remove the unintentional awkward of answering the phone by intentionally answering the phone awkwardly)
- just saying, "Becca." But ultimately, I'd add a hint (read: complete) of inflection at the end so it would sound like a question and the person on the other end will be like, "No, this is Tahlia. You are Becca." Then I would just keep saying, "Becca" because it would be funny. "Yes, you Becca." "Becca." "Stop it." "Becca." "Ugh, I don't even care anymore. Bye." "Becca."
- I could just say, "Hello" without the inflection... BUT THAT'S NO FUN!
So I am welcome to any suggestions.
If I call you:
If I am calling you because I have a question, then there is no problem, because once you answer, I wil just say hey and then start in on my question.
But if I am returning your call, I always resort to the lame "Hey, what's up?" See how lame that reads? It sounds just as lame. But unfortunately, I can't think of any clever way around this one :( Hmm... well, I could always start in on the Beastie Boys song: "Whatcha whatcha whatcha want (whatcha want) I said, whatcha whatcha whatcha want?" Hmm... I sort of like it!
And if I get the "why are you calling me?" response, there's always some good ol' Stevie Wonder: "I just called, to say, I love you... I just called to say how much I care... I just called, to say, I love you..." Priceless.
So that's my part on answering the phone. But you know what's great? This is also not the reason I started a phone post... And what's even greater is that I have completely forgotten what that reason is... so there may or may not be a third installment.
Million Billion Years
Jeezy Creezy! It's been a MILLION years since I posted...! How come the masses haven't arisen? I'm gonna pretend that it's because you have all just been tiding yourselves over by reading past posts, and not because you all no longer crave the intense, orgasmic excitement that comes from reading my sultry words.
Anyway, here's just a little update:
The Droid X is fantabulous, but it's external speakers suck monkeyballs [wait, so they are awesome?] so I never hear it. Hmm... that sucks. Oh well. I may have to yell at Verizon to see if there is anything I can do, but as much as I love yelling, it's getting real gd old driving over there every week to complain.
Nickypoopoobutt is visiting tomorrow! WE ARE GOING TO HAVE AN ACTION-PACKED FUN-FILLED ADVENTURE FILLED WITH WONDER AND EXCITEMENT AND YOU ARE NOT INVITED!!!! Unless you are Albert or Emily, who I invited.
It's been Phone Week (just as intense as Shark Week), and it has been great (despite the post I haven't written yet)! I've talked to many a friend on the phone this week for various lengths EXCEPT TAHLIA, THAT BITCH ["What? She's in the Netherlands? How long? ALL SUMMER? I don't believe you.]
At NASA, I have been doing some coolio things and mainly this is how it goes:
G: "Blah blah blah O2-singlet-delta blah blah abundance profile blah blah blah"
Me: "Totally. I dig it. Right on. For sure."
G: "Go and do."
Me: "Definitely. Easy. Get that right back to you."
Hours pass.... G comes downstairs to my desk.
G: "Did you do that thing?"
Me:
G: "Show me this [names something]."
I show him something.
G: "Why are you doing that? Do this."
G does PURE IDL MAGIC. In my head, I am thinking, "You never told me anything about that."
G: "Ok, now do this and send it to me when you are done."
Me: "Sure, it's easy now."
Hours pass... Eventually, I email something to G.
G responds to the email.
G: "Come to my office."
Me:
Also, he completely rewrote my entire presentation. Meh. Looks good. Today, we had our dry-runs with the director of the astrobiology department at Goddard (Dr. Mumma), and everyone and their mentors [and their mentor's moms, ZINGO! (Dr. Mumma totally said 'zingo' today and it was glorious)], and one of the mentors commented that I shouldn't put a talk outline in it because honestly, he thinks they are dumb. I wanted to do one of those "quick head tilts" at Geronimo because he is the one that put it in there and thought it was 'cool.' I didn't do that, but what I did do was this:
I stand up and look over at Geronimo.
Me: "Who's the genius now, G-string?! That's right, bitch!"
Dr. Mumma (the head of the astrobiology department) and I chestbump. I high-five and fistbump the rest of the members at the table. Boncho gets up to hug Geronimo but Geronimo shuns him.
G: "Not now, Bonch."
Boncho looks defeated and so Geronimo opens his arms and they hug. The rest of the room goes "Awww..."
So that is what I have been up to. I have a severe backlog of post ideas, so YOU'LL HAVE SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO.
Kisses! <3
Anyway, here's just a little update:
The Droid X is fantabulous, but it's external speakers suck monkeyballs [wait, so they are awesome?] so I never hear it. Hmm... that sucks. Oh well. I may have to yell at Verizon to see if there is anything I can do, but as much as I love yelling, it's getting real gd old driving over there every week to complain.
Nickypoopoobutt is visiting tomorrow! WE ARE GOING TO HAVE AN ACTION-PACKED FUN-FILLED ADVENTURE FILLED WITH WONDER AND EXCITEMENT AND YOU ARE NOT INVITED!!!! Unless you are Albert or Emily, who I invited.
It's been Phone Week (just as intense as Shark Week), and it has been great (despite the post I haven't written yet)! I've talked to many a friend on the phone this week for various lengths EXCEPT TAHLIA, THAT BITCH ["What? She's in the Netherlands? How long? ALL SUMMER? I don't believe you.]
At NASA, I have been doing some coolio things and mainly this is how it goes:
G: "Blah blah blah O2-singlet-delta blah blah abundance profile blah blah blah"
Me: "Totally. I dig it. Right on. For sure."
G: "Go and do."
Me: "Definitely. Easy. Get that right back to you."
Hours pass.... G comes downstairs to my desk.
G: "Did you do that thing?"
Me:
G: "Show me this [names something]."
I show him something.
G: "Why are you doing that? Do this."
G does PURE IDL MAGIC. In my head, I am thinking, "You never told me anything about that."
G: "Ok, now do this and send it to me when you are done."
Me: "Sure, it's easy now."
Hours pass... Eventually, I email something to G.
G responds to the email.
G: "Come to my office."
Me:
Also, he completely rewrote my entire presentation. Meh. Looks good. Today, we had our dry-runs with the director of the astrobiology department at Goddard (Dr. Mumma), and everyone and their mentors [and their mentor's moms, ZINGO! (Dr. Mumma totally said 'zingo' today and it was glorious)], and one of the mentors commented that I shouldn't put a talk outline in it because honestly, he thinks they are dumb. I wanted to do one of those "quick head tilts" at Geronimo because he is the one that put it in there and thought it was 'cool.' I didn't do that, but what I did do was this:
I stand up and look over at Geronimo.
Me: "Who's the genius now, G-string?! That's right, bitch!"
Dr. Mumma (the head of the astrobiology department) and I chestbump. I high-five and fistbump the rest of the members at the table. Boncho gets up to hug Geronimo but Geronimo shuns him.
G: "Not now, Bonch."
Boncho looks defeated and so Geronimo opens his arms and they hug. The rest of the room goes "Awww..."
So that is what I have been up to. I have a severe backlog of post ideas, so YOU'LL HAVE SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO.
Kisses! <3
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