So many things!
But as the fates would have it, when I couldn't sleep at all last night, my internet didn't work. SERIES OF TUBES MY ASS. And to prove to you, as any true scientist would, that no sleep be had, I UTTER COMPLETE NONSENSE!
SEAMONKEYS! YOU FOUL CREATURES THAT BECKON FORTH WITH HASTE! YE NOT BETROTH TO THUS THE SQUID WHALES! I HEAR THEE!
So.
I will tell a few stories... IN TIME. But to tide you over until tonight's bout of insomnia, here are a few... insights.
1. EVERYTHING is absolutely hilarious with zero hours of sleep. Especially thermodynamics (proof to follow).
2. LAST NIGHT (this morning?), I faced certain and utter peril when I was mere inches from the beginnings of a transient-hobo-bum fight. Transient?! Hobo?! BUM?!? How could you bear the stench!? QUITE RIGHT! But as "Transient #2," as she so forth will be called, proceeded to NOT utter the safe word "pillar" (that ultimately would send me fleeing to safety behind a pillar), I was flung into death's grasp as none other than a human shield. Little did Transient #2 know that my own most powerful stench (pheromones, as I call them), amassing from pure fear, would send the assailants into a wild hallucination (reality?) where they must fight off the dinosaurs of Pearl Street (except the one watching the baby just dropped off). At which point, I rode the back of the good Triceratops to the safety of the sugarplum clouds atop the candy-cane forest (you know, the one by Unicorn Castle, across the way from Jeezy Creezy, Get Some Sleep?)
3. Italics are not used often enough.
4. "Utter." New favorite word?
5. PURE BLOG GOLD.
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