The funny part was that I had just been telling Cheryl about something I hated! (But when am I not doing that, I mean really...)
But... I don't really agree with this fortune. First off, and most importantly, it definitely doesn't apply when I add "in bed" to the end. For example, I'm not into erotic asphyxiation. You could say I'm against it. Now, I am "knocking it before I've tried it", but I feel like almost passing out might, dare I say, weaken me? As such, by being against erotic asphyxiation, I'm actually strengthening myself (as opposed to the other option).
Secondly, is the fortune trying to tell me I shouldn't be against things because it makes me weak? (Yes, I'm assuming that being weak is a bad thing, but let's just make this assumption and leave it at that.) Well, it's impossible to not be against anything. You can't be both pro-life and pro-abortion. It just doesn't work that way, Fortune.
But maybe the fortune is just saying that, while you do have to be against some things, ultimately, being against these things IS going to make you weak in some way or another, and this is something we all just have to deal with (but maybe the fortune is also implying that some things only make you a little weak, and others make you a lottle* weak, but that what things these are is saved for another fortune).
Anyway, okay, so being against something makes you weak, if only a little. I also don't necessarily agree with this statement. I think I need a definition of 'weak.' And who decides what 'weak' is, and what kinds of "againsts" are little weak and what kinds are lottle* weak.
Here are some definitions of 'weak' from dictionary.com:
Okay, hmm... Well, for my next example I will use the third definition that defines weak as "not having much political strength, governing power or authority." Politics is basically defined by taking a stand and being "against" one thing and "for" another. Gay marriage, abortion, the death penalty, a whole lottle* things. Now, does being "against" any one of these things make that party "weak"? HECK YES I SAY, but only because it's the Republican party and I hate them. I HATE THEM SO BAD. You could say, I'm against them... But actually, that's not the point I'm making (EVEN THOUGH IT'S TRUE). Just because this STUPID party is against gay marriage, it doesn't make the party weak. It might actually make them stronger because they have something asinine to rally about and who doesn't love rallying about asinine things? Not Republicans, that's for sure.
So, this fortune is a joke! Unlike all other fortunes. But I think what the fortune is trying to get across can still be determined. When I first read the fortune, the way I interpreted it was, "Don't be all full of hate, man. It can really get you down." Which only really told me that I need to get out of HippieLand Boulder. But then I was like, "I can see how being full of hate can really be a drag." You could say that I hate being full of hate. But I do love the rages I can fly into because of it!!! But back to the fortune, this interpretation implies that one hates all things that one is against. This isn't necessarily true, especially because everything is not black and white.
But again, the fortune doesn't say "hate weakens you." And it is also being pretty presumptuous by asserting that absolutely EVERYTHING you are against weakens you. So... what the hell, fortune?!?!?
You could say, I'm against this fortune...
*SO. The asteriskses(?), asteri(?), the more than one asterisk, you ask? Well, I'm coining a new word: "lottle." It means "many" as in, "a lot." BUT, it can only be used in comparison to "a little". As in, it wasn't a little, but a lottle. As you can see in the first two uses of an asterisk, when compared to "a little", "a lottle" works great. But when you use "lottle" by itself, as in the third instance of an asterisk, it doesn't make nearly as much sense, and isn't half as funny. So, spread this word, but don't just use it a little, use it a lottle.
No comments:
Post a Comment